Chronicles of a Midlife Crisis by Robyn Harding

Author:Robyn Harding
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: PENGUIN GROUP (CANADA)

Trent

THERE’S A REASON WHY companies have policies against office romances. And as I watch Annika stride, make that stomp, past my office, I wish mine did. If Shandling & Wilcox had had such a policy in place, this mess could have been avoided. On the other hand, it’s possible, even likely, that I would have ignored the rule and still gone to bed with her. My dick definitely had control over my brain for a while there. But now it seems my brain has overthrown my dick in a military coup, restoring order and reason. Unfortunately, this allows me to see all too clearly what a bad fucking idea it was getting involved with a woman I work with.

So I would have nailed Annika even if there was an office policy, but at least we would have had to keep it a secret. Annika always acted as though it was common knowledge we were together. She almost seemed proud of it. But now that things have gone sour she’s huffing around like this is ninth grade and her boyfriend forgot her birthday. Obviously, the whole goddamn office knows we were together in the first place, and that we’ve now broken up.

I hear Annika’s laughter from down the hall, devoid of mirth and entirely self-conscious. It’s obvious she’s laughing at me. She’s probably telling Karen from accounting that my daughter’s a teenage drug addict or that my wife has an eating disorder. I hear a return titter from Karen, and a heartier laugh—Dave maybe? Oh god, what if Annika’s so mad she’s telling the staff I’m bad in bed? I mean, I totally redeemed myself after that first fiasco, but hell hath no fury. I can only hope all my co-workers get so pissed on green beer tonight that they’ll have forgotten about it by tomorrow.

I try to focus on paperwork, but it’s hard. For the sixtyeighth time today I check my cell phone for messages. None. I vowed not to harass Lucy or Sam, but they seem hell-bent on torturing me by exclusion. They act as if I gave up all rights to the family when I left—or more accurately, when I started dating Annika. And that thought just hammers the point home: Annika was a huge mistake.

For just a moment, I allow myself to reflect. Why did I feel the need to leave Lucy and Sam? Were things really that bad? I was bored, there’s no denying that. Lucy worked too much and our sex life had become rote. But was walking out the right answer? Couldn’t I have asked her to cut back on her hours? Brought home a French maid’s costume for her to wear or something? Sure, Lucy might have been pissed off. We probably would have fought about it and there would have been tension and harsh words. But is what I have now really better?

And I realize that what I have now is exactly nothing. Oh, I’ve got a one-bedroom-and-den apartment full of practically fluorescent Ikea furniture.

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