Begin with You (Chaotic Love Book 1) by Claudia Burgoa

Author:Claudia Burgoa [Burgoa, Claudia]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-07-23T18:30:00+00:00

22

Abby

After a two-hour flight, we land at Reno International airport. Unlike the other times since Wes bought the house in Tahoe, my car isn’t in the parking lot. When we pick up the rental, Wes makes a passing comment that he should just buy a car. He suggests going to town and checking out the dealerships. If he can’t find anything suitable, we’ll order something in Denver and have it brought to Tahoe. He’s ridiculous, but I remain quiet.

I’m not sure why is it that I’m not talking. Is it because my body continues to tremble in fear? Maybe it’s because I’m afraid that I’ll tell Wes more than I want to confess. I’m on the verge of breaking down and this time I might say more than I should. There’s nothing coherent I could share with him that doesn’t involve my old life. My mind is stuck in the past.

It’s like a horror movie continues to play in my head on repeat. No one is there to push the stop button, to take the disc out of the player or to unplug the cord. I relive every day, every scene, and every word. Every night I fought, and once I lost the battle, I tried to disassociate. But most nights it was impossible.

The road lies before us like an asphalt ribbon. One that has been worn over time. A white line runs down the center, relatively unbroken. I admire the evergreens and whitewashed boulders. Ponderosa pines, California redwoods, and Douglas firs tower over us. For a moment, I wish I could be like either one of them. An unmoving rock that withstands seasons and disasters. But if given a choice, I’d rather be one of the trees. No matter the season or the circumstances, they retain their foliage.

Most evergreen trees lose their leaves, but they do it gradually—not many notice those changes. I’m more like a seasonal plant that dries if it’s too hot and loses her shit with some gusty winds.

We continue going forward. I fiddle with the radio, finding the 90s alternative station that Wes loves. I close my eyes, holding onto the quartz bracelet he gave me, counting while listening to “6th Avenue Heartache” by The Wallflowers. The guitar screeches while Jakob Dylan talks about the homeless guy who used to live right below his window and life in the big city. It goes on about how the weight of the world is crushing him.

The singer sees people around him, yet he’s alone. This isn’t the kind of song I was expecting to hear while trying to find my footing. I can relate so much to it. I’m surrounded by evergreens, yet I feel like the last dandelion that’s about to lose its seeds. Even when I have Weston Ahern by my side, there are days that I feel lonely and out of place.

If I could, I would stay in Tahoe for the rest of my life. It’s surrounded by everything that I love. The clarity of the lake that’s nestled amidst the Sierras where I can stay hidden forever.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.