Away with Words by Joe Berkowitz

Author:Joe Berkowitz
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2017-06-13T04:00:00+00:00

Back at Littlefield for the first Punderdome of the year, I do a whiskey shot with Ally and the Gwiazdowskis between rounds. Now that I’m out of the running, there’s no fear that whiskey will short-circuit my brain.

In the first heat of the second round, the category is Celebrities, which should be illegal for the Gwiazdowskis, since they routinely play a celebrity name game on their podcast. Surprisingly, Jordan and Jerzy’s turn is kind of a nonstarter. They will be lucky to make it to the next round.

“It’s intimidating to be up here,” says the Pundance Kid next. “There’s a lot of experienced punners here and I’m just the Paul Newman.”

The thing is, even though it’s his first time, he doesn’t seem like the Paul Newman. Pundance looks very comfortable onstage and he’s got incredible timing.

“Just trying to keep the Streep alive . . . as is her makeup team,” he says at one point, waiting just long enough into the audience’s mock-outraged laugh to apologize. He knows exactly what he’s doing.

When it’s Ally’s turn, she goes even deeper into Woody Allen territory than before.

“Is this whole self-deprecating thing working? I don’t know, time will tell,” she says. “If not, I’ll just dust-it Hoff, man.” She sounds almost on the verge of a breakdown, which is in keeping with her stage persona, but some reality may be filtering in, too.

Daft Pun won his earlier turn with a run of celebrity puns, and momentum is still on his side. He gets a huge laugh with an actress who moonlights as a crime boss obsessed with clear wrap: Susan Saran-don. Then he keeps going strong.

When the clap-o-meter comes out, Nikolai and Pundance Kid move forward to the semifinals. As everyone leaves the stage, Jerzy and Jordan look like that tense couple at a dinner party who makes other couples tap each other on the leg under the table.

The category closing out the second round is Sports. Ariel is up—as part of a duo called Pundercats, rather than her usual P-Witty solo act. Both Pundercats wear sheepish grins due to their limited sports knowledge, and it works in their favor. Puns like “Kobe or not Kobe . . . ,” charm laughs out of every corner of the room. When Isaac does his turn next, he continues the sports-ignorance trend, and he absolutely destroys.

“To me, a touchdown is sampling pillows at Bed Bath & Beyond,” he says. “To me, a free throw is when I find a small rug on the ground.” The response is monstrous.

Tim is batting cleanup, and he goes the conceptual route again. He warns the crowd up front that he’s going to mix football and basketball puns.

“I’m going to try to court some favor,” he says, “and I might be a little Bull-ish when mixing these, so stay with me while I Ram them down your throat.”

The incoming laughs are tepid.

In his green army jacket and gray wool cap, Tim is visibly sweaty. You can practically see him deciding to switch horses midstream and abandon the cross-sports routine.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.