And He Restoreth My Soul by Darlene J. Harris

Author:Darlene J. Harris [Harris, Darlene J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781449710675
Publisher: WestBowPress
Published: 2011-02-10T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter 12

The Impact of Loveless

Relationships

by Pat Allison, State Licensed

Health Professional

The Problem

Alcohol, drugs, sex, money, and relationships are all commonly abused in the lives of the personally violated. PRIDE acts as a protective shield while hiding behind SHAME. ANGER acts as a defense against fear of the TRUTH. Survivors build walls around their pain of incest, rape, rejection, or ridicule. They seek peace and serenity and yet are easily drawn into false teachings-methods of repair and healing that promise to help them “look good” and “feel good,” providing them only a temporary improvement and a lot of “feel worse” time afterward. Some survivors learn about God as a Higher Power, but rarely study His full character. They create an imagined identity of who God is, and follow an uncertain path according to what they understand, that is drawn from their flawed past experiences. Their faith is weakened because of so many broken promises and threats to their well being. They are continually led into a pit of darkness, leaving them in pain, confusion, and living a loveless existence. They pretend to be functional while suppressing the truth, in order to feel acceptable or to “fit in” with society.

Our Task

We need to build bridges across the generations of abuse: to learn to communicate at a truthful, deep, and intimate level to those who have been abused; to learn from one another and to help one another, in love. Our objective is to lead survivors from an experience that shattered their lives to wholeness and healing.

The present writer is grateful for the gift of compassion and a life filled with loving relationships. She is privileged that her heart has been opened to mercy for those who are lost and suffering. She has been a friend, a listener, and an encourager to many abused people. She has realized that they need a safe place to communicate their misery and overcome their fears. They need a ministry to follow that will help them to reveal the truth of their suffering-a place to learn forgiveness…a place where they can be shepherded and equipped to walk in a path with a fixed gaze on the love of our almighty God and to live in His light.

How I Started My Ministry to the Abused

I met Sharon when I was 13 years old. After school, I went home to a loving family, and she went to a bar where her mother was a bar maid. Sharon was consistently exposed to drunkenness, sexual acts, and being fondled by men her mom brought home. She and I were best friends all through high school. My lifestyle was comforting to her. Before we knew it, graduation was near, and we were both facing our futures. After graduation, I went off to college, and she went to work as a chip girl at a card club in a gambling environment, which was familiar to her.

Over the years, she began drinking, had two sons with different fathers, and lived with a man who beat her on a regular basis.

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