Afraid of the Light by Cynthia Ruchti

Author:Cynthia Ruchti
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Kregel Publications
Published: 2020-10-15T00:00:00+00:00

chapter eighteen

THREE A.M.

The light from her laptop made her squint after four hours of closed eyes that led to no sleep. She punched the key to dim the light and sat with her fingers over the keyboard. It was probably pointless to create more material for her podcast. Maybe these thoughts, too, would have to live in a never-seen journal and help no one. No one but her.

Watershed moments are as much upheaval as they are breakthrough. We see our situations or ourselves in a new light, but the light isn’t always flattering. But when those watershed moments come, nothing changes unless we respond.

Camille stopped typing and ran her fingers over a page in the Bible she’d long kept on her nightstand. A Bible she’d dusted more times than she’d opened. Did the biblical writers know how many people over the centuries would open it looking for a soul sedative in the middle of the night?

An ancient philosopher wrote that when we know the right thing to do and don’t do it, that’s a major, high-consequence disconnect. Families of those with a hoarding addiction believe their loved one won’t change. The person with a hoarding disorder believes he or she can’t change. Both know the right thing to do. Both assume what’s asked of them is impossible.

But water, even in a slow-moving creek, is powerful. Over time it can polish rough stones until they’re smooth, reduce rock to sand, break through tangles of debris and pull them downstream. A watershed moment holds the same potential.

The critical response lies in the space between the watershed moment and our next decision. Will we resist the change? Fall back into old patterns of resentment and hurt? View our impossible situation without the advantage of the new perspective we’ve gained? Continue to see it as completely overwhelming, impossible, beyond hope?

Or will we step into the light and into the watershed and let it do its thing—change us?

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