50 Successful Harvard Application Essays, Third Edition: What Worked for Them Can Help You Get into the College of Your Choice (Harvard Crimson) by Staff of the Harvard Crimson

Author:Staff of the Harvard Crimson
Language: eng
Format: mobi
ISBN: 9781429907088
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin
Published: 2010-06-28T16:00:00+00:00

COMMENTARY

This essay earns points for framing the applicant through original means. By seizing on treasured books to narrate, the applicant gives the reader a real sense of his passions, heritage, and aspirations. The series of examples he gives, particularly at the beginning, carry a real momentum that propels the reader through the essay. In a pile of applications, admissions officers will see dozens upon dozens of essays touting multicultural identities. It’s crucially important to stand out. This essay accomplishes that aim by putting forward a thought-provoking metaphor for the applicant. Remember always that readers spend minutes, not hours on your writing. Be interesting.

Another particularly compelling portion of the essay is the treatment of spirituality embodied by the two Bibles the writer owns. He explains how his Christian morals and principles allow him to navigate through life’s challenges and give him a sense of purpose. Overall, the multiple layers of the author’s identity shine through in the essay and make the applicant seem alive and approachable.

Though the applicant obviously won the admissions officers in the end, it is worth noting that the essay suffers from grammatical errors (“my obsession in nanotechnology”). Certainly, such flaws are not enough to completely discredit an otherwise compelling essay, but applicants should take the time to carefully proofread their pieces before submission to make sure that small mistakes do not aggregate into a larger problem with the writing. It is worth your time to check for grammatical consistency in a piece that can tip the scale on where you spend the next four years of your life.

Briefly, this essay serves as a great introduction to the writer. It deals with sensitive topics such as race and religion, but in the end gives the reader a great sense of who the applicant is, where he comes from, and where he intends to be in the future. The writer’s anecdotal examples make his voice better heard in the essay, and he uses this voice to display his talent, potential, and originality. Overall, the essay describes what is most important to and about the applicant, which makes it an effective component of a college application.

—Elias Shaaya

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