22 Things a Woman Must Know If She Loves a Man with Asperger's Syndrome by Rudy Simone

Author:Rudy Simone [Simone, Rudy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Published: 2009-05-15T00:00:00+00:00

His words

“I’m a lot better since I got the diagnosis. I don’t get so angry because I know it’s AS; it’s not me or her, or them.”

“I think that my diagnosis was withheld from me for a long time. I should have been told sooner.”

What to do

Encourage him to get that piece of paper, for his own peace of mind. By all means, keep your sense of humor. When he is blowing up over nothing, don’t add fuel to the fire by blowing up at him. Try to look at things from his point of view. When the incident is over and you are both calm, ask him what he meant or what his perspective was at the time. You may find his point of view enlightening. If you’re still convinced his behavior was inappropriate, try to put it to him logically, perhaps putting him on the receiving or observing end of the behavior or scenario. He may begin to see that his behavior was not desirable or considerate. But be patient, altering one’s perception of reality takes time, and so does learning new behavior.

Sometimes a person with AS can get into a dangerous situation because of their temper—meaning they can make someone so angry that they provoke an attack. Often people with AS have no idea of the effect they’re having on others and cannot sense when they are entering into a danger zone. Try to make him see the potential hazards of losing his temper. You might suggest taking up some form of anger management (e.g. meditation, or something more physical like running) in addition to the diagnosis.

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