211 Things a Clever Girl Can Do by Cutler Bunty

Author:Cutler, Bunty [Cutler, Bunty]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: PENGUIN group
Published: 2011-05-26T21:52:31+00:00

Although getting off an ostrich is simplicity itself, getting on one is fraught with difficulty and is not something you can do yourself. Don’t bury your head in the sand about this: two people are required to help you. For the Queen this might be the Duke of Edinburgh or Prince Philip or whatever he’s called, if he’s not doing anything, and somebody else.

MOUNTING THE OSTRICH

1 Someone (let’s say Sarah Ferguson) puts a small paper bag over the ostrich’s head to prevent giving it the willies, while another person (say Camilla Parker Bowles) keeps the bird still by hanging on to its tail. Watch out here because their powerful legs have two sharp-clawed toes on each foot and they bend their knees backwards so they can give you a hefty kick where you’re not expecting it. (The ostriches, I mean; not Fergie and Camilla.) They are also highly inquisitive and will peck the head of anybody who approaches them.

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