1001 Things Every Teen Should Know Before They Leave Home by Harry H. Harrison

1001 Things Every Teen Should Know Before They Leave Home by Harry H. Harrison

Author:Harry H. Harrison
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
Published: 2010-05-26T00:00:00+00:00


They Should Know

How to Live Without

Mom Waking Them Up,

Doing Their Laundry,

and Taking Care

Of Them or Else

They’ll Move Home.

547. They should know that the inability to keep a home orderly and clean is a clear sign of someone who still needs mothering.

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548. They should know how to separate and wash their clothes so they don’t have to take them home.

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549. They should know to invest in an ironing board. It will keep them from starting a fire on the breakfast table and moving home.

550. They should know bleach is really good at making things white. Even things that aren’t white.

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551. They should know that dirty dishes that sit around for days are havens for bacteria.

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552. They should know to smell their refrigerator once a week and throw out the five-day-old Chinese leftovers.

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553. They should know vacuuming doesn’t wear out a carpet. Dirt and grime wear out a carpet. Vacuuming actually makes it last longer.

554. They should know that mold and mildew are evidence their place is becoming a toxic dump.

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555. They should know that roaches and ants are usually invited in by food lying around on the floor and counters.

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556. They should know the great thing about the dishwasher is that it can be used to clean toothbrushes, oven vents, knobs, hairbrushes, trays—anything that’s bacteria laden, gross, and fits inside.

557. They should know 95 percent of the indoor dirt comes from porches, sidewalks, and entryways. They start sneezing, they think they have the flu, and they come home.

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558. They should know to use doormats. A pound of dirt is often found there.

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559. They should know that when their apartment starts smelling, it’s time to disinfect.

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560. They should know human hair wreaks havoc on drains.

561. They should know to put everything back in the refrigerator. And not eat anything that’s been lying out for three days.

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562. They should know that, if left undisturbed, dust will only grow.

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563. They should know a dirty apartment can make them sick.

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564. They should know to buy a loud, obnoxious alarm clock with a snooze button. They have to get up a 6 a.m now.

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565. They should know who to call in case of an emergency. Besides Mom.

566. They should know washing hands with soap and hot water has stopped plagues. It can stop anything lurking in their apartment.

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567. They should know those little red bumps spreading across their skin aren’t the result of too much chocolate.

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568. They should know when they’re blowing snot, coughing, feeling feverish, and having trouble breathing, partying all night is rarely the recommended course of treatment.

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569. They should know the word generic can save them a fortune.

570. They should know calling Mom when they’re sick will only get them sympathy. Calling a doctor will get them a prescription.

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571. They should know that when they run at sunrise or sunset, they’re running with mosquitoes carrying diseases. Spray with OFF! first.

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572. They should know to sit across the room from people who are coughing. Even their friends.

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573. They should know the people with the best tans usually have skin cancer surgery first.



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