Your Survival Instinct Is Killing You: Retrain Your Brain to Conquer Fear, Make Better Decisions, and Thrive in the 21st Century by Marc Schoen

Author:Marc Schoen
Language: eng
Format: mobi, pdf
Tags: Mental Health, Motivational & Inspirational, Psychology, Self-Help
ISBN: 9781594630972
Publisher: Hudson Street Press
Published: 2013-03-21T00:00:00+00:00

The New Sexual Revolution and the Addiction Loop

Zach’s experience is but one of many examples that demonstrates the destructive powers of instant gratification, especially with regard to expectations. There are plenty of other examples, however, within the broader conversation about instant gratification that involve strong, sometimes undeniable impulses in the attempt to escape feelings of discomfort. And one huge category of these impulses, which I have treated in my practice, is the one that encompasses our sexual drives. Right off the bat, one’s need to be quickly gratified sexually may seem wildly different from the need to be rewarded immediately at work for a job well done. But these two scenarios share much more in common than you’d likely think.

There is no denying that all of us, whether we seek it out or not, have greater access to sexual stimuli including pornography (thanks to the Internet) and sexual suggestiveness and references in the media. Ask any parent today what it’s like to raise teenagers and they will lament how “different” the world is today from a sexual-liberation standpoint versus the era in which they grew up. Even modern fashion trends in revealing and sensual clothing add to ubiquitous sexual stimuli. What this means for the limbic brain is a higher level of activity firing off in its dopamine circuits, which then results in higher agitance levels.

In a certain number of individuals, this effect can crystalize into sex addiction, as those individuals increasingly turn to sexual gratifica- tion as a means of managing their levels of discomfort. Over time, a lower tolerance for agitance and discomfort levels begins to develop, which leads them to turn to sex ever more frequently in order to get relief. Unfortunately, this type of addiction, particularly porn addiction, has a sharp downward spiral—as the addiction takes hold, only a narrower and more specific range of stimuli can effectively satisfy their needs. Sexual fetishes and obsessions, for instance, can become even more and more specific. Further, those that find themselves developing sexual fetishes in forbidden areas find themselves less able to delay the gratification of these fetishes as their ability to tolerate discomfort rapidly shrinks.

My using the example of sex addiction is not as extreme as you might think. You may not have any interest in understanding sex addiction, but the common denominator across a wide variety of behaviors that entails instant gratification is the same: the more that is available to us, the higher our levels of agitance and the more we need to seek relief. Our impulses don’t lessen; rather, they actually become intensified. It’s the same thing that we see with alcoholics and drug abusers. In addition to the urge to feel the mind-altering rewards of drinking or using a drug, the more the substances is abused, the longer it takes to feel satisfied (hence the need to go back for more in order to quell the discomfort). So there’s never an end to it. And as I discussed earlier, the more an individual

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.