You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent by Carla Naumburg

Author:Carla Naumburg
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Workman Publishing Company
Published: 2022-08-30T15:59:19+00:00

How much you share likely depends on your style and how well you know and trust this friend, but even if you aren’t particularly close, any version of “life isn’t perfect” is going to open the door to a more authentic exchange. When we share a little bit of our reality, we’re creating space for our friends to a) share some of theirs, and/or b) respond to us with kindness and compassion.

And yes, there is a point to all of this and it’s not just that sharing is caring. And you’re not just fishing for sympathy. Rather, you are intentionally and authentically creating the space for the connection of compassion. This isn’t about realizing you both hate the beach and love blueberry muffins (although that’s cool too), it’s about giving your friends (and, as we’ll discuss later, yourself) the opportunity to notice, acknowledge, and respond to your suffering with curiosity and kindness. More often than not, this sort of connection will help you remember that you didn’t create this current snafu, and it’s OK if you can’t fix it.

Never be scared alone. Early in my social work career, I worked on a locked inpatient psychiatric unit. I loved that job—almost all the time. But sometimes it got scary, generally when my patients or their visitors were behaving in unpredictable, threatening, or violent ways. After a particularly harrowing moment, the attending physician on my team took me aside and gave me one of the most useful pieces of advice I’ve ever received: “Never be scared alone.” Those four words have gotten me through some of the most terrifying, confusing, and overwhelming moments of my life and parenting.

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