XO, Blake by Avery Aster

Author:Avery Aster [Aster, Avery]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Romance, Contemporary, Young Adult
ISBN: 9781513092478
Amazon: B00UKFWZXK
Barnesnoble: B00UKFWZXK
Goodreads: 20567999
Publisher: CreateSpace Publishing
Published: 2015-05-09T04:00:00+00:00

The Death of Fear

Upper West Side, the dorms

There are those moments in life where you feel as though someone just pushed you off the top of the Empire State Building, and you’re falling straight for the pavement. That’s how I felt as I repeated the dreaded acronym, “HIV.”

“Yup. That’s what the medical community calls it.” His left brow raised a fraction.

We sat in silence for a second. The space heater in the corner made a humming noise. I could hear the kids down the hall laughing in a jovial way about something.

“Maybe there’s a mistake,” I finally spoke. “A false positive.”

“I’ve taken the test three times.” He flung his hands out in despair. His cuticles appeared gnawed. I didn’t notice them earlier. He must’ve bit the hell out of his nails due to stress. “I’ve gone to the school clinic and my family doctor downtown. They’ve all confirmed that I’m…infected.”

Hoping I could take some of his pain away, I ran over and wrapped him in my arms. I pulled him as close to me as humanly possible.

Fear. I could smell it coming off him almost as if he’d sprayed on a new cologne. Thor was terrified.

As we hugged, the tears like a spigot started uncontrollably out of my eyes. I didn’t want him to see I was crying, but my chest felt as if it would burst if I didn’t let them out. Inhaling deeply into my mouth, I couldn’t speak.

He jerked back, catching sight of my sadness. Frantically, he shook his head. “Don’t you dare fucking cry for me, Blake.”

Sniveling, I ran forearm under my nose. “You’re going to be fine. There’s medicine. You’ll be undetectable—”

“Shut up,” he snapped.

I tried to remain optimistic. “Everything will work out—”

“Stop saying that! I’m positive. I will forever be labeled a poz queen. From now on, whenever I date a guy, I’ll have to have that talk beforehand. It’s bad enough that we have to be segregated to specifying whether we’re top or bottom, masculine or feminine, out or closeted, but now I’ll have to add poz or neg to the list. The likelihood of me finding Mr. Right or even a Mr. Good Enough is gone. I’m going to be single for the rest of my life. I can forget about having kids, too.”

“That’s not true and you know it. There are tons of positive guys who lead active and normal lives, Thor.”

“Oh, really? Name one.”

“Greg Louganis,” I replied.

“Okay one. But what about Liberace, Keith Haring, and Freddie Mercury? They all died from AIDS-related illnesses.”

“You don’t have AIDS. You have HIV. You and I both know there’s difference. If you take your medication, it won’t escalate to that.”

“People will gossip about me.”

“Folks have always talked about you, Thor,” I tried to make a joke as I wiped my eyes.

Thor’s family was the frontrunners of New York City society. Their name was on every fundraiser. They’d made 911 monuments downtown. And had their own wing at the Metropolitan Museum of Art uptown. I know!

“Seriously, what am I doing to do?”

“It’s not a death sentence.

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