Why Men Fear Marriage by RM Johnson

Author:RM Johnson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Published: 2009-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER FIVE

The Hesitant Man

Not all men are against marriage because they don’t believe in it, or think it’s a bad idea. Some men have not married yet, or fear the prospect of ever getting married, simply because they don’t know if they’re ready for the responsibilities that marriage entails. Because it’s such an enormous, life-changing decision that we make when we agree to marry, without experience or knowledge of what could happen in the future, we often stand there on the edge of the cliff afraid to jump, believing that there will be nowhere to go but down.

The out clause—or lack thereof

The man you’ve been dating for a year and a half—the man you love—is staring at you. You look up from reading your magazine and catch him.

“What?” you ask, feeling a weirdness about his stare.

“Nothing,” he says, staring at you a moment longer, then going back to his crossword puzzle.

What just happened?

He took a trip into the future and tried to see you there. He might not have told you, but he believes he might one day want to marry you, and since he told himself that he’s been scared out of his mind.

When this happens, men will try to imagine the future you in their lives.

Will you be as cool as you are now, or will you become our mothers, and scream and yell until your head explodes? Will you shut off the “sex on” valve? Will you weigh a ton more than we do after you have a kid or two?

Men want to know these things. But of course there’s no way of finding that out for certain. That’s hard for us, considering that almost everything a man buys today comes with a money-back guarantee, or at least some kind of warranty—lifetime, limited, or at least a four-year minimum.

But with you—NO RETURNS, NO EXCHANGES!

When seeing a sign like that in a store, don’t you just turn around and walk out, not trusting anything you’d purchase there? If the seller doesn’t trust it enough to give you some kind of piece of mind that it won’t just fall apart, then why buy it?

This is not to say we view women as property. We don’t. But what if things don’t go as smoothly as we want them to? We’ve heard the horror stories. We’ve heard what it’s like trying to get a divorce today, heard how the courts favor women in custody battles. Not that we’re certain it would ever come to that.

Sure, marriage with you might be the best thing that ever happened to him. But it’s a gamble.

That’s not to say that men don’t eventually propose. If we’re thinking about it, and you’re great for us, and the timing is right, we will eventually muster up the courage to ask for your hand.

But until then, know that we’re sweating about the uncertain future, and panicking even more, because there is no easy out clause, just in case marriage with you is a nightmare.

No romance without finance

Ladies, even though you might not want to admit it, there are plenty of good men out there.

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