Why Do Only White People Get Abducted by Aliens? by Ilana Garon

Author:Ilana Garon
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Skyhorse Publishing
Published: 2012-12-31T16:00:00+00:00

During my first week teaching the thirty-three-person, all male, Special Education Inclusion kids class, the Super Bowl incited such a fervor that an Eagles fan got his jacket vandalized. Specifically, the word “Patriots” (the rival team) was written all over his jacket in permanent marker, except that it was spelled “Patroits.” The poor kid was incredibly upset. “Miss, I paid for this jacket. I don’t do anything to them. Why do they do this to me?” he asked. It would be bad enough without the fact that this kid is a Special Education student, and this is his first inclusion experience. I was ready to bust some tenth-grade rear end, but security beat me to it. They came bursting into the class and hauled out six kids who were allegedly responsible for the vandalism. I didn’t even get to make the call.

However, one of the kids who was hauled out apparently decided it was my fault that he was blamed for the stupid incident. “Yo, Miss, I got two days suspension ’cause of you,” he said menacingly in the stairwell. “I got somethin’ for you in class.” This kid is just barely five-feet, and your usual gangly fifteen-year-old. So I said, “Hey, guess what? I’ve got something for you, as well!” and slapped him with two more days of suspension for threatening a teacher. Then I called in his father, and we all had a meeting in which his father threatened to “have problems with him” if he didn’t start behaving better. I was like, “Great, this kid’s dad is Mr. Tough Guy on him!” As they were walking out, the kid says, “Hey Dad, I need a hundred dollars.” Uh-huh. So much for Mr. Tough Guy. But the kid has behaved better since, so maybe something was accomplished.

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