Who Knew Tasmanian Tigers Eat Apples! by John Martin

Author:John Martin
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: John Martin

MOOSE had barely come through the door when Lozza thrust a copy of The Pick Of The Crop at him.

He tried waving it away. “We’ve got work to do. I haven’t got time to read this.”

“But you have to look. They’ve run our photos.”

Moose’s eyes widened as he sat down and examined the paper. Soon he began to laugh. He held up the page that had the identikit photos. “These could be anyone! Have you ever seen the Bonnie and Clyde movie?”

Moose’s hair was still slicked back from his shower after training, so he guessed he did look like a gangster.

Moose’s guess was some of the patients who had given the police artist their bogus recollections would have known fine well who he was. As for Lozza, he guessed none of them were about to confess to their wives they had succumbed to the soothing left hand of a hostess at the Dancing School, who was off on sick leave.

Moose put the paper down. “Relax, no one is going to blab. You'll get some money out of this.”

He rolled up his sleeves as he got up and walked to the other end of the kitchen table, which he had set up earlier. The beaker of stolen goods was surrounded by dozens of little test tubes and a bunch of tags, some of them with names written on in blue ink.

Lozza watched as he started funnelling the stolen semen into the test tubes, which he then corked and attached a tag to.

“Give me some more bushrangers’ names.”

Lozza smiled thinly. “Ned Kelly?”

“I’ve already flooded the market with Ned’s whiskers.”

“OK then. What about Mad Dog Morgan?”

Moose stopped his funnelling and stared at the wall. “Why didn’t I think of Mad Dog? The Americans would love a name like that.”

Lozza spotted one tag she wasn’t comfortable with. “Errol Flynn wasn’t a bushranger.”

“He was a Tasmanian.”

“But he definitely wasn’t a bushranger.”

Moose laughed. “If anyone asks, I’ll tell them Errol Flynn was a bushranger in Tasmania before he went to Hollywood to become a pirate and Robin Hood.”

Lozza continued to watch Moose work. “Do you think that billionaire friend of yours will really be able to market this stuff?”

“Are you kidding? They’ll probably cut it with something to make it go further, but I expect every drop will be packaged in little capsules as part of jewellery and good luck charms, and billed as genuine Australian bushrangers’ by-products.”

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