Where have all the bullets gone? by Spike Milligan

Author:Spike Milligan
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Humor, Humorists - Great Britain - Biography, Humour, Political, Biography: General, Entertainment & Performing Arts, General, Topic, English, Biography & Autobiography, Military, World War II, History
ISBN: 9780140088922
Publisher: Penguin
Published: 1986-06-26T08:46:55.068000+00:00

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Transcribed newspaper cutting from the Union Jack, 1945

The compère for the contest is Captain Philip Ridgeway, the announcer. He is as informed on Dance Bands as Mrs Thatcher is on Groin Clenching in the Outer Hebrides. Other judges are Lt. Eddie Carrol, famed composer of ‘Harlem’ and Lieutenant ‘Spike’ Mackintosh, famous for not writing ‘Harlem’.

Can you believe it — we didn’t win! WE DIDN’T win !!! I wasn’t even mentioned!! Why were the 56 Area Welfare Service persecuting me like this? At the contest I had heard shouts of ‘Give him the Prize’. No one listened, even though I shouted it very loud. Never mind, there would be other wars…!

The first Dance Band Contest held in this country took place at the Bellini Theatre on Sunday, 3rd June. Eight bands took part, including the O2E Dance Band, and a very high standard was shown by most of the competitors. Each band played four numbers, the first being a ‘warm-up’ followed by a Slow Foxtrot, Waltz and Quickstep.

The O2E Band opened the contest, their combination being 3 Trumpets, 2 Alto Sax, Tenor Sax, Piano, Drums, Bass and Guitar, and for their three tunes they chose ‘Moonlight Serenade’, “Naughty Waltz’, and ‘Two O’Clock Jump.”

They had a great reception, which they richly deserved. Every man gave of his best and the intonation and phrasing were excellent.

‘Two O’Clock’ Jump’ was the most difficult piece played during the contest, and was tackled with exceptional aptitude.

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