What's Normal, Anyway? by Anna Gekoski

Author:Anna Gekoski
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781472105196
Publisher: Constable & Robinson

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And I’m ’appy now. Even though I ain’t got the money, I’m ’appy. I work in Hull for Quality Fixings, selling nuts and bolts, and I get up in the morning . . . I actually wake up in the morning and want to go to work. The bloke who give me a job said: ‘You’re the face of Hull, you, you might get me a bit of business and some hard work at the same time.’ Even when I got done drink-driving and crashed me car and was banned for two years, he still kept me in a job. I get drove around now by one of the lads in the office, and we go out and meet people and get through the doors and try and sell as many things as we can really. So I work hard, you know, I work hard for what I get now. It seems a bit of a stupid cliché really but the more you have, the more people want to take off you. So, you know, when you ain’t got nowt they can’t take it off you. And now I don’t have hardly ’owt, just a bit to get me by.

Filling time and keeping busy is the main thing I try telling people: that you’ve got to keep busy, you’ve got to get up for something in the morning. I don’t care what it is but you’ve got to get up, cos if you don’t, you end up going to the pub cos you’re bored and eventually your fuckin’ money runs out, and you fuckin’ end up going crackers, you know? Now I play football on a Saturday in Hull, so that takes me mind off it for an hour an’ half or so, and I enjoy me weekends. And I do a lot of commentating as well now with me Sky Sports work on the radio on Thursdays, so I’ve got summin. And obviously I got community service for me drink-driving. So I work three days a week, do me community service Mondays and Fridays – even though I don’t want to do me community service in a charity shop in Bingley, I’ve gotta do it, cos if not, I’ll go to prison! – so at least I’m, like, busy.

And yeah, depression never leaves you; it’s treatable innit, but it’s never curable I don’t think. I have good days and I have bad days, I’m still having good days and bad days. I’m still having fuckin’ fights and arguments with me ex-wife about me children, and me children don’t speak to me cos I’m back with this girl again now, and it’s very difficult at the moment. You know, I miss me kids dearly and hopefully they’ll forgive me and eventually come round and want to see me again, but at the moment it’s a bit raw, so there’s nothing I can do about that, I’ve got to get on with it. But I’m probably a bit mentally stronger than I was before.

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