Wedding Night: A Novel by Sophie Kinsella

Author:Sophie Kinsella [Kinsella, Sophie]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Fiction / Humorous
ISBN: 9780812993851
Publisher: The Dial Press
Published: 2013-04-23T08:00:00+00:00

13

LOTTIE

This can’t be happening. We’ve been turfed out of our own honeymoon suite.

What is wrong with them? I’ve never seen such an inept crew in my life. They unscrewed the legs of one bed, shuffled it round, and lifted it up and pronounced it too big, then Nico suggested they screw the legs back on and start again … and all the time Ben was simmering to a boil.

At last he started yelling so loudly, the workmen gathered protectively around Nico. To his credit, Nico kept his cool, even when Ben started brandishing the hair dryer. Nico asked if we would please leave the suite while the workmen were operational and perhaps we would enjoy a complimentary à la carte breakfast on the veranda?

That was two hours ago. There’s only so much à la carte breakfast you can eat. We’ve been back to the room to get our beach stuff and there are still people in there, all peering at the beds and scratching their heads. The room is full of bed legs and headboards and a super-king mattress propped up against the wall. Apparently it’s the “wrong kind of bed.” What does that even mean?

“How hard can it be to swap a couple of beds?” says Ben with a furious scowl, as we head toward the beach. “Are they morons?”

“That’s just what I was thinking.”

“It’s ridiculous.”

“Ludicrous.”

We pause by the entrance to the beach. It’s quite something. Blue sea, golden sand, rows of the plushiest sun beds I’ve ever seen, white umbrellas billowing in the breeze, and waiters hurrying around with drinks on trays. Any other day, I’d be salivating at the sight.

But there’s only one thing I want right now. And it’s not a suntan.

“They should have given us another room,” says Ben for the hundredth time. “We should be suing.”

As soon as they asked us to leave, Ben requested a substitute room, and for one heavenly moment I thought everything was going to work out after all. We could disappear into a spare room, have a wonderful morning together, emerge in time for lunch.… But, no, Nico wrung his hands and said he was devastated and mortified but the hotel was fully booked, could he offer sir a complimentary hot-air-balloon ride instead?

A complimentary bloody hot-air-balloon ride. I thought Ben was going to throttle him.

As we’re pausing by the towel stand, I become aware of a presence lurking. It’s Georgios. Where did he appear from? Has he been following us? Is this all part of the service? I nudge Ben, and he raises his eyebrows.

“Madame,” says Georgios gravely. “May I help you with your towels?”

“Oh. Um, thanks,” I say awkwardly. I don’t really need help, but it would be rude to tell him to go away.

Georgios collects two towels and we follow a beach attendant to a pair of sun beds facing the sea. Lots of guests are already ensconced, and there’s a smell of sun cream in the air. Waves are washing gently onto the beach. This is fairly blissful, I have to admit.

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