Vanilla to Kinky: The Beginner's Guide to BDSM and Kink: Discover the Keys to How to Be Dominant or Submissive in the Bedroom (BDSM Basics Book 1) by Jonathan Wolf

Author:Jonathan Wolf [Wolf, Jonathan]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Published: 2019-05-19T16:00:00+00:00

Start Creating a Scene

One of the best parts of BDSM is the ability to create scenes that you and your partner(s) roleplay. While roleplaying isn’t for everyone, I’m creating this section under the presumption that you either love roleplaying your fantasies, want to try it, and/or want to get better at it. Since BDSM largely encompasses all aspects of the sexual experience, you can take the pieces and parts you want to create exciting and kinky scenarios. Want to be the naughty student kept after class by your teacher? Maybe some Domination and submission is involved. There’s no reason you can’t toss some spanking into the scenario as well.

Some people just aren’t great at roleplaying or can’t get into the headspace. You’re effectively acting, and not everyone is an actor. To immerse yourself in a scene, it can certainly help to use costumes or props. Sure, you can pretend your girlfriend is a cop, but what if she’s wearing a uniform, has a baton, and big aviator sunglasses? Want your boyfriend to be a prisoner that ravages your body? Have him get a henna tattoo and an orange jumpsuit. Wigs are excellent and affordable for roleplaying because it can make you feel like you’re having sex with a completely different person. Don’t downplay the effectiveness of lingerie in the bedroom. Some people have a response to lingerie where it feels like they’re being given permission to act more sexual and sluttier.

When roleplaying, it certainly helps to be openminded. Don’t dismiss your partner’s fantasies out of hand because they don’t immediately appeal to you. Sexual experimentation is critical to finding the things that turn you on the most. Maybe you think your partner’s school teacher fantasy is lame, but you play along and suddenly you find out you enjoy Dominating and spanking them.

Don’t be afraid to break the rules. Roleplay is where you have permission to be whoever you want. You can pretend to be someone underage or even pretend to be one of your relatives of one of your partner’s relatives. It’s just roleplaying between two consenting adults. You’re not hurting anyone. These are just fantasies. You wouldn’t get mad at your partner because they shot a bunch of people in a videogame, would you? Roleplaying is just another fantasy.

If you need ideas, don’t be afraid to draw from movies, TV shows, books, or even videogames. Maybe your boyfriend has a thing for Lara Croft? Maybe your girlfriend has a thing for Jon Snow? The possibilities are literally endless. If you’ve been getting bored of the same sexual experience every week, then roleplaying is the perfect opportunity to spice things up for the rest of your life.

It might help if you and your partner keep lists of scenes you want to try or fictional characters you want to have sex with. Don’t be afraid to fill a notebook with ideas and show them to your partner. For all you know, the both of you have similar scenes you want to try.

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