Anal Sex Basics by Carlyle Jansen

Author:Carlyle Jansen
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
Publisher: Quiver Books
Published: 2016-03-15T00:00:00+00:00

Ten ground rules for talking about sex with your partner

1. Accept that conversations about sex are healthy and necessary. They can be hard to initiate, but an honest discussion can lead to feeling closer, getting what you want, and knowing how to better satisfy your partner.

2. Enter the conversation with an open mind and with a willingness to understand your partner’s efforts and positive intentions. Be caring and constructive in your approach. Your goal is to strengthen your relationship.

3. If there is a problem or concern, try to understand the real issue. If you unearth something, dig deeper in case there is a bigger issue hidden.

4. Be sure to acknowledge your love and admiration for your partner. Reassure him or her of your commitment and care, whether he or she was the one who brought up a tough subject or you were the initiator.

5. Express your own needs and desires for the relationship. Use “I” statements. Try to bring to possible resolutions to the discussion if something is not working.

6. Be honest, clear, and sincere. Ask for what you need in order to feel comfortable sharing your personal thoughts and wishes.

7. Listen carefully and clarify. Don’t interrupt. Repeat back what your partner said to be sure you really understand what he or she is saying.

8. Be patient and take breaks if necessary. Allow the process the time that it needs for everyone to feel heard and understood and to express his or her perspective. Revisit the conversation at a later date if necessary.

9. Remain present. Lock the door if you need to, and avoid other distractions. Notice what triggers you or makes you feel defensive, take a breath, and step back. You want to listen to what your partner is actually saying, not just what your own head is telling you.

10. Check out any assumptions. Oftentimes what you assume is true isn’t true at all. The more you assume, the further you may go down the wrong path.

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