Ultraball #2 by Jeff Chen

Author:Jeff Chen
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2019-11-03T16:00:00+00:00

LunarSports Reports around the League

NEUTRONS THRASH EXPLORERS

By Aziz Chang, Grand High Executive Reporter

In a show of utter domination, the North Pole Neutrons set a new UUL record for points scored, crushing the Kamar Explorers, 126–49. The defending champion Neutrons look all but invincible. White Lightning threw for six touchdowns, and Meltdown scored eleven times, near a league record. The electrifying duo looks unstoppable, much more so than the old one-two punch of Fusion and Chain Reaction. With Fusion’s recent arrest and imprisonment, the roster switch from Fusion to White Lightning once again points to Raiden Zuna’s foresight and genius.

With the romp, the Neutrons have secured a spot in the playoffs. And with a whopping 147 more total points scored than their closest competitor, they are poised to lock up the number one seed.

Meanwhile, the Beatdown, once thought to be contenders for the Ultrabowl title, are officially a team in decline. They played woefully against the horrendous Saladin Shock, nearly getting upset by the second-worst team in the league. It was only a last-minute pick-seven interception by Uppercut that sealed the Beatdown’s win, 70–56. At the postgame press conference, their quarterback, Destroyer, appeared to be shaken by the close shave. When asked why they played so badly, he said, “Hammer Fist wasn’t feeling good right before the game. We would have pulled him, but there wasn’t enough time to get someone off our backup list.” Destroyer then continued to make weak excuses for his team’s terrible play.

Meanwhile, the Miners shamelessly took advantage of the lowly Yangju Venom, running up the score on a hapless team, 119–28. Some so-called experts have argued that it was the Miners’ duty to score as many points as possible since the tie-breaker is total points scored over the season. But only a cowardly bully embarrasses an opponent so badly.

The Miners’ rocketback 1, Nitro, was a small bright spot for the Miners, scoring eight touchdowns, including a fingertip grab of one of the few long passes that Strike threw all game, this one badly off target. Some commentators have even mentioned her in MVP discussions. One huge question remains, though: What will the Miners do when TNT is recovered from his injury? He was again kept off the roster, making it four straight games now. But an anonymous source reported that TNT had been yelling at Strike that he had been ready to go, and that he should have been playing.

Strike skirted that roster issue during the postgame press conference, saying, “No comment. Mind your own frakkin’ business.” It was telling how defensively he reacted, appearing to have a major team chemistry problem brewing.

Week-seven action will determine the final playoff seedings, with the Beatdown, Miners, and Molemen jockeying for position in an attempt to stay out of the dreaded fourth seed. The best way to describe the overall playoff picture is through the current percentages set by the oddsmakers:

Team Chance of Winning the Ultrabowl

Neutrons 61 percent

Miners 15 percent

Molemen 13 percent

Beatdown 11 percent

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.