Troubles and Treats (Chocolate Lovers #3) by Tara Sivec

Author:Tara Sivec
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Published: 2012-11-29T05:00:00+00:00

~

“Pretty please? Say it again. Just one more time!” Claire tells the woman we just met standing in line for beer.

The woman laughs and says, “Put another shrimp on the Barbie!”

Liz, Claire, and I laugh hysterically and jump up and down with excitement. I’m not really sure if it’s the beer that makes this funny or if it really is funny. The woman in front of us is from Australia and we’ve spent our fifteen minutes in line getting her to say Australian things.

“Okay, okay, I’ve got one. Say, ‘Fosters. Australian for beer,’” Claire says with a snort.

The woman laughs and does as she’s asked without complaint.

“Oh my God I love you! You are our new best friend!” Claire tells her.

“Oooh, my turn!” I say excitedly as I finally think of something for her to say. “Say, ‘Sucky, sucky, five dolla. Me love you long time!’”

Everyone just looks at me funny. “What?”

“That’s not Australian, dumbass. I don’t even know what the fuck that is!” Liz says with a laugh.

We order our beers and make our way over to the smoking section just outside of the fence to go back into the concert. We’ve spent the majority of the concert out here drinking instead of trying to navigate through the crowd to get to our seats inside. Since the music is so loud, we can hear it just fine out here anyway.

“HEY!” I yell to a group of guys walking by our picnic table. “LOOK AT MY VAGINA!”

Claire smacks my hand down from making a ‘V’ with two of my fingers. “What the hell are you doing?!”

I scope out the crowd for more people who look willing and able.

“VAGINA!” I shout to a couple walking hand-in-hand to the table next to us. They immediately turn and head in another direction.

“Oh sweet Jesus, she’s lost her mind,” I hear Liz tell Claire. “She thinks something is wrong with her vagina. She tried to get me to look at it the other day.”

There’s a guy all by himself two tables over. I bet he’d appreciate the vagina. This beer is delicious.

“Wait, is that why Jim called Carter and was screaming about his dreams dying and how he never gets what he wants? Carter could barely understand a word he was saying.”

I take a big gulp of my drink and slam the cup down on top of the table.

“HEY! VAGINA!” I yell to the guy by himself at the other table.

He looks at me strangely for a minute and then replies, “Uh, penis?”

“WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!” I cheer, jumping up out of my seat and attempting to do the running man. It doesn’t go so well and I fall flat on my ass.

“Who put the ground so fucking close to my ASS?!” I yell.

“Okay, I think she’s cut off,” Claire says as she gets up from the table and pulls me up by my arms.

“Claire, will you look at my vagina?” I ask her as I put my head on her shoulder.

“What is the deal with you

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