Toxic by Clive Lewis

Author:Clive Lewis
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781472980076
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing

5

PSYCHOLOGICAL OPPOSITES

Difference – the only thing we have in common.

In 1972, Ira Levin wrote a novel called The Stepford Wives.94 The story centres around a photographer called Joanna Eberhart, who suspects that submissive wives in the neighbourhood might be robots created by their husbands. In a letter to The New York Times95 in 2007, Levin indicated that he based the story on the town of Wilton, Connecticut. The narrative charts lives and the existence of conformity, compliance, obedience and regularity. For some, the concept of the Stepford Wives might metaphorically represent an ideal image of what a toxic-free organization should look like. Imagine a place where there is total deference, agreement and obsequiousness. Leaders would have hassle-free careers but there would almost certainly be no creativity, ingenuity or resourcefulness.

One of the fascinations of homo sapiens as a species is how no two people are identical. Everyone has a unique blend of qualities that create an individual personality. Our personality is how we identify ourselves and interact with the world. With so many differences, it is not surprising that when bringing groups of people together in one place for school or work, there will be differences of opinion, ideas and interpretation. Sometimes these differences can become toxic. We cannot choose our fellow school pupils or work colleagues. It is quite possible to take an instant dislike to someone based on how their personality differs from yours. That dislike may be buried deep in your subconscious. In psychology, the subconscious is the part of the mind that is not in focal awareness. This means that we might have a negative reaction to someone without even recognizing it. It can be visceral.

This type of reaction is also analogous to a term in science called the Coulomb barrier. Named after physicist Charles-Augustin de Coulomb, the Coulomb barrier describes the resistance that takes place when you try to put two magnets together only to find there is considerable opposition as each repels the other. We all have hot buttons. One of the difficulties when it comes to interpersonal relationships, however, is that others might recognize defiance in our behaviour as we are repelled by a colleague. You might well have a blind spot about it, finding that you instinctively recognize when you are working with people who possess qualities opposite to your own. The Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung described the concept of enantiodromia as being akin to ‘a play of opposites’, a dynamic flow in the course of events where everything that exists turns into its opposite. For example, day turns into night, life to death and back into life. Jung says, ‘Just as all energy proceeds from opposition, so too the psyche too possesses its inner polarity as Heraclitus realised long ago.’96 A colleague or group of colleagues could be so dissimilar to you that it is easy to spot inconsistencies in the way you might work together. Understanding the importance of personality traits and how they interact with one another has been an

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