Too Busy To Get Busy: How to Fix Your (Almost) Sexless Relationship by Jane Guyn

Author:Jane Guyn [Guyn, Jane]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: J. Bear Co. Press
Published: 2016-06-09T18:30:00+00:00

Outside In

He started touching her on her hands, feet, and head bringing her desire energy from the periphery toward the core with his fingers. By gradually doing this, the lower desire person, in this case a woman, is allowed to energetically connect to a sense of arousal.

When you try to start a lawnmower, sometimes it takes a few pulls on the starter rope. That was the case with this lower desire woman. Once she got going she was great, but it just took time. Don’t give up on your lower desire partner if you want to have a full sexual expression.

Many people say they don’t have time for sex, but frankly, the studies show that sex only lasts about 10 minutes. For most women, the warm-up time is 20 minutes. So it’s over before she’s even had a chance to get warmed up. Be patient with the process.

What Other Experts Are Saying About Desire

Rosemary Basson

Rosemary Basson’s circular sexual model is different from the way we’ve thought about sex since the 1960’s when Masters and Johnson observed live couples having sex in their lab. The nonlinear Basson Model promotes the idea that your emotional intimacy, sexual stimulation, and relationship satisfaction affects your sexual response in a circular way – the more you open in your environment and relationship, the more aroused you get. This is if you’re a woman. If you’re a guy, the linear Masters and Johnson model was designed for you. If the Basson model is a good fit for you then emotional intimacy and your relationship satisfaction will increase your sexual arousal.

Esther Perel

Esther Perel takes the opposite approach to your desire. In her book Mating In Captivity, she contends that your increased intimacy actually dims erotic tension. She tells you to hold on to mystery within your relationship so that you can cultivate your erotic tension.

Jack Morin

In his book, The Erotic Mind, Jack Morin agrees. He says that you experience increased excitement when you’re attracted to somebody but can’t quite get there. (I’m thinking that’s the sexy 20-something bearded guy with the pour over black coffee at Case Study Coffee you see every morning. He’s hot but you’re 45 and very married. Still exciting. Very.)

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