Women on Top by Nancy Friday

Author:Nancy Friday [Friday, Nancy]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Love & Romance, Psychology, Womens Sexual Fantasies, General, Family & Relationships, Human Sexuality, Women's Studies, Social Science
ISBN: 9781476715605
Google: trkOJGPiihEC
Amazon: 0671648454
Publisher: Pocket Books
Published: 1993-01-02T00:00:00+00:00

legs was real enough,” says Priscilla, and “although nothing else happened, this event remains so powerful for me and is the basis for a recurring fantasy.”

Because they are the first steps into our own sexuality and independence away from parental rules, these early sexual experiences resonate with the thrill of the forbidden and can retain a lifetime of explosive energy in memory. Often nothing is ever again quite so exciting as that first arousal.

When it was with someone of the same sex, it can be a reassuring, loving memory, as it is with many of the women in this chapter, or it can retain forever its original “sinfulness and excitement,” as it does with Mickey.

Women seen to have a far easier time than men with the memory of their youthful sexual experiences with people of the same sex. For many men, the early sexual encounter with another boy becomes not so much an exciting recollection from which to create adult fantasies as a nightmare. No matter how many women the man seduces, or how many years go by since the childhood incident, the indelible label can remain nailed in memory: homosexual.

The young boy may know nothing of our society’s homophobic preoccupation; he learns it quickly enough and labels himself. Consider an article in the New York Times, published in 1984 and titled “Sexual Fantasies: What are Their Hidden Meanings?” Within the article, the journalist referred to a paper given at the American Psychoanalytic Association. The doctor who wrote the paper “contended that a person who has homosexual fantasies, but does not actively engage in homosexual activity, is homosexual – even if his homosexual fantasies are unconscious.”

I have the yellowed piece of newsprint in front of me as I write, along with my heavily penciled exclamation and question marks. I am dumb-struck, angry that anyone calling himself a doctor could say such a thing.

How could we label someone a homosexual for what he thinks? It is the police state carried to the wildest extreme.

Women’s fantasies of other women present one of the most powerful themes in my research since My Secret Garden, where it was barely a murmur in the garden. It began gathering steam in the early 1980s and has remained a favorite fantasy – no matter what other themes of fantasy the woman may enjoy – to this date. I doubt it will ever disappear now that it is with us, since it offers so many women not only sexual excitement but also a mirror into themselves.

Twenty years ago I was surprised that my research didn’t turn up more of these women-with-women fantasies. I knew men enjoyed watching or being with two women, both in reality and in fantasy. And I knew women Nancy Friday 226

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