The Vatican Cellars by André Gide

Author:André Gide [André Gide]
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
ISBN: 9781908313843
Publisher: Gallic Books
Published: 2014-02-15T00:00:00+00:00

An hour later, when he came to again, Carola was lying beside him, in his arms, completely naked.

He extracted his left arm, which was beginning to go numb, from underneath her and pulled away. She was asleep. A feeble glow from the street below filled the room, and Carola’s regular breathing was the only sound. After a moment, feeling an unfamiliar sensation of languor that had spread all the way through his body and into his soul, Amédée Fleurissoire swung his thin legs out of bed and, sitting on the edge of the mattress, wept.

As his sweat had done an hour or two before, his tears bathed his face and mingled with the grime of the railway carriage. They flowed without a sound and without stopping, in a slow stream from deep down inside, as though from a hidden spring. He thought about Arnica and Blafaphas. If they could see him now … Never again would he dare take his place at their side. Then he thought about his honourable mission, for ever compromised. Half to himself he wailed, ‘It’s all over! I’m not worthy any more … It’s all over, finished!’

The strange sound of his sobbing and wailing woke Carola up. By this time he was on his knees at the foot of the bed, hammering on his frail chest with little blows of his fists, and Carola, amazed at what she saw, heard his teeth chattering and him repeating between sobs, ‘Every man for himself! The Church is collapsing …’

Eventually, unable to restrain herself, she said, ‘What’s got into you, lovey? Have you lost your marbles?’

He turned to her.

‘I beg you, Madame Carola, please go away … I absolutely must be left alone. I’ll see you in the morning.’

Then as, after all, he did not blame anyone except himself, he kissed her softly on the shoulder.

‘What we did, what we’ve done here, you can’t have any idea how awful it is. No, no, you can’t! You can’t ever have any idea.’

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