The Rules II by Ellen Fein & Sherrie Schneider

Author:Ellen Fein & Sherrie Schneider [FEIN, ELLEN]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Self-Help
ISBN: 9780446930123
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Published: 2001-07-23T00:00:00+00:00

In conclusion, the same man who won’t commit because of issues with his ex-wife or his finances has no problem proposing to a woman who refused to date him longer than a year. Sometimes a man will date a woman for five years claiming he has commitment issues and after breaking up with her, easily marries someone else in six months.

If you are involved with a man for several years who isn’t proposing, how much longer are you willing to wait? When a man knows that you will accept less than marriage he is not motivated to fully commit himself. You must be willing to walk away from a dead-end relationship.

Assuming you are engaged, how do you get him to walk down the aisle?

The truth is, if you’re engaged as a result of The Rules, getting him to marry you should not be a problem. There’s no “cold feet” in Rules engagements. In fact, just the opposite is the case. He’s made his decision, he wants to get married, to be with you all the time, forever.

There’s usually a wondrous, exciting planning of the wedding. He’s calling caterers, videographers, and tuxedo places, and driving himself crazy trying to pick the most meaningful wedding song. He’s intimately involved in every detail of the wedding. He’s worried that you might not get your dress in time. The only time he is angry at you is when you’re not making the wedding your top priority.

Of course, getting engaged is no guarantee of marriage, so don’t get lax about The Rules when you’re engaged. Don’t think you can talk to him on the phone for hours, and it’s still best not to move in together yet. Engagements can be broken and wedding dates postponed or never set. If you move in, he may change his mind and decide not to marry you so soon! Better that he miss you and move up the wedding date than feel claustrophobic as you take over his closet space.

Also, be on the alert for any special circumstances or excuses your fiancé might make, such as:

He thinks being engaged is great, but why rush marriage?

He’s been married before, it was a disaster, and he’s not anxious to tie the knot again. He gave you the ring so he doesn’t lose you (so you won’t sleep with anyone else), but he’s happy with the status quo.

He’s young and still likes to go out with his friends, not be tied down. He likes the bachelor life and although you convinced him to get engaged, you can’t pin him down for a wedding date. You have a ring, but you’re not sure what the future looks like.

You were already living together when you got engaged, but you still don’t have a wedding date set. What to do?

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