The Nest Newlywed Handbook by Carley Roney

Author:Carley Roney [Roney, Carley]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-385-34461-6
Publisher: Potter/TenSpeed/Harmony
Published: 2012-12-18T08:00:00+00:00

FATHERS-IN-LAW

Her Dad Explained

Because they’re men themselves, fathers-in-law are naturally suspicious when a guy comes sniffing around his precious daughter. Of course there will always be a few peeing contests between men and their sons-in-law, and most of them boil down to “Are you taking good care of my baby?”

HOW TO DEFUSE THE BOMB: Show him that you are taking care of his baby by being affectionate, thoughtful, and caring (btw, you should be doing those things anyway). But at all costs, avoid any flattery of his daughter that makes a reference to her body parts—dads do not like to think of their daughters in that way, and it will just make him suspicious of you. Another tactic: Ask for financial advice. It’s probably not a good idea to mention dramatic career-change thoughts, though—strong and steady, and above all deferential, wins the race.

His Dad Explained

If you think about it, most adult men are more than aware of the fact that they don’t understand women. Fathers-in-law have had a lifetime of marriage to realize that it’s a pain in the butt to argue with their wives, so the last thing they’re going to do is bother trying to pick a fight with someone else’s wife. Plus, most women know how to charm their husbands, and so it’s a natural jump to easily winning over their husband’s father.

Of course, there are plenty of exceptions—the blue-blood dad who looks down at his son’s middle-class wife; or the emotionally distant dad who incurred the rage of his daughter-in-law for how he treated his son growing up. But even these tensions are rarely direct—the dad’s disappointed in his son, the son’s not as concerned about his emotional abandonment as his wife is, etc. We’re not saying it can’t go wrong; we’re just saying that, usually, it’s relatively quiet on this front.

HOW TO DEFUSE THE BOMB: If there is a reason to call in the dogs, follow your hubby’s lead. He probably knows the best way to deal with Dad (like asking him about the latest biography he’s reading).

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