The Meaning of Marriage: A Couple's Devotional by Timothy Keller & Kathy Keller

Author:Timothy Keller & Kathy Keller
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2019-11-04T16:00:00+00:00

July 12

You must stick to your commitment to act and serve in love even when—no, especially when—you don’t feel much delight and attraction to your spouse. And the more you do that, slowly but surely, you will find your more ego-heavy attraction being transformed into a love that is more characterized by a humble, amazed reception and appreciation of the other person. The love you will grow into will be wiser, richer, deeper, less variable. (Hardcover, p. 105; paperback, p. 112)

EMOTIONS AND HABIT. Anything we do once becomes easier to do again, since we are creatures of habit. It makes sense that you become brave by acting brave, not waiting until you feel brave.84 But is that also true for love? Yes, it is. If you serve someone to whom you are strongly attracted at the moment, your deeds are partially for yourself. You are inviting and stirring the other person’s affection, which is something you desire greatly. However, when you love and serve someone who at the moment you don’t even like, then you are doing it for their sake, not yours. In some ways loving someone you don’t like is more truly love and a way to become a more loving person.

Reflection: Think of some ways in which this principle worked for you in a relationship outside of marriage. Think of some ways in which this principle worked for you inside your marriage.

Thought for prayer: Be thankful to God for the situations in which you can serve your spouse when you don’t feel like it. Ask God to help you see these situations as opportunities for deepening your character, relationship, and love.

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