The Love of Loves in the Song of Songs by Philip Graham Ryken

Author:Philip Graham Ryken [Ryken, Philip Graham]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: REL012020/REL006740/REL012100
Publisher: Crossway
Published: 2019-02-13T16:00:00+00:00

It is sad but true: my wife Lisa and I had a huge fight on our honeymoon—on the second day or maybe the third. She might remember what we fought about, but I don’t. I almost never do, which serves as a good reminder that most of the things we fight about are not nearly as important as they seem to be at the time. Another thing I have learned over the years is that my own selfishness is at the root of most of the marital arguments we have, and I feel confident Lisa would agree that the quarrel we had on our honeymoon is no exception.

What I do remember is storming out of our condominium in Vail, Colorado, and having a good long discussion with the Lord out in the parking lot. By the time we were through, I was ready to go back inside and apologize. But, more importantly, I made a firm resolution that I would never walk out on an argument with Lisa again but would do whatever it took, for as long as it took, to work things out.

The next set of lyrics from the Song of Songs tells a similar story. Not long after they were married—maybe while they were still on their honeymoon—Israel’s newlyweds had a fight. As we listen to their song and hear about their painful separation, we discover that their marriage wasn’t exactly “happily ever after.” But, more importantly, as we see what it took for them to get back together, we learn how to fight valiantly for the romantic friendship that God calls marriage.

Not Tonight, Dear

The scene opens with the bride alone in her bed, half asleep, which helps to explain why the passage has a dreamlike quality. Apparently, her husband has been away from home—we’re not sure why. He comes home late, only to find that the door to his bedchamber is locked. When his wife hears him knocking at the door, she says, “I slept, but my heart was awake. A sound! My beloved is knocking” (5:2).

As his wife lies in bed, her beloved husband tries to sweet-talk her into opening the door:

Open to me, my sister, my love,

my dove, my perfect one,

for my head is wet with dew,

my locks with the drops of the night. (5:2)

Speaking with sweet affection, the husband uses the same terms of endearment that we have heard before. As far as he is concerned, their honeymoon is far from over. The groom has come back home with a heart of love, and also the clear expectation that his bride will be ready for sexual intimacy—as ready as he is. His tender words contain more than enough innuendo to make his intentions clear.

Unfortunately for him, sex is the last thing that his wife has in mind. She was ready for that hours ago, when she took a bath and slipped into something a little more provocative. But the moment has passed, and all she wants to do now is stay in bed.

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