The In-Between by Hadley Vlahos R.N

Author:Hadley Vlahos, R.N. [Vlahos, Hadley]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2023-06-13T00:00:00+00:00

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There were no phone calls about Edith that night—or any other night, for that matter. I visited Edith and John every day for the next five days until she passed. I wasn’t there when it happened, but I was told that it was very peaceful.

Much to my surprise, John had already left by the time I arrived at the facility about twenty minutes after Edith died. The nurse let me know that he couldn’t handle seeing her like that.

I cleaned Edith up, talking to her the whole time, and then opened up the window overlooking the garden. As I waited for the funeral home to arrive, I watched the butterflies and birds flit past just as Ms. Edith had done a few months prior. When the funeral home workers arrived, I told Edith goodbye one last time before they placed the sheet over her face. I always look away before they do that—it’s my least favorite moment. I panic every time, thinking that they can’t breathe, even though I know it’s a nonsensical fear.

After I completed all of my documentation and made all my phone calls, I said goodbye to the Sutton Heights staff before continuing on with my day.

I was in my office half-heartedly doing paperwork when our chaplain, Steve, came in and sat down next to me. “I talked to Chris today,” he said. Steve often went into the nursing home where Chris worked to see hospice patients, and he and Chris had developed a close relationship over the years. In fact, they’d known each other longer than I’d known either of them.

“Oh, yeah?” I asked.

“Yeah. We talked about his mom. We prayed for her.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet of you. Thank you so much for that.”

“She says she’s going to beat cancer,” Steve said, looking at me.

I pursed my lips, not saying anything and looking straight at my computer. I knew better. I took care of lots of patients with brain cancer.

“You don’t think so, I’m guessing,” he said.

I shook my head very slightly.

“I think you might be a bit biased,” he said, challenging me in a way I had not been challenged before. Most people tiptoed very delicately around Babette’s illness and impending death.

“I’ve never had a patient beat brain cancer,” I told him flatly.

“You only take care of people in the last stages of life, Hadley. She isn’t there yet. I don’t think it would hurt to think positively,” he offered nonjudgmentally.

All of my feelings bubbled up to the surface at once, feelings that, until this moment, I had kept well concealed. “I can’t be positive about this. Death sucks and it’s everywhere. I get close to my patients, and then they die. I get off work and we go see Babette and just looking at her is a constant reminder. We don’t go on any long trips, just in case. We aren’t moving forward with our lives and getting engaged because it just seems wrong right now. There’s a heaviness in the air

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