The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine N. Aron Phd
Author:Elaine N. Aron Phd [Aron Phd, Elaine N.]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Kensington
Published: 2013-11-26T07:00:00+00:00
• Working With What You Have Learned •
Reframing Your Shy Moments
Think of three occasions when you felt social discomfort. If possible, choose three rather different situations and ones that you recall in some detail. Reframe them, one at a time, in terms of the two main points of this chapter: (1) Shyness is not your trait—it is a state anyone can feel. (2) The introverted social style is every bit as valuable as the extraverted one.
1. Think about your response to the event and how you have always viewed it. Maybe you felt “shy” at a recent party. It was a Friday night after a hard day at work. Dragged along by people at your office, you were hoping to meet someone who would become a real friend. But the others went off, and you ended up in a corner, feeling conspicuous because you were not talking to anyone. So you left early and spent the rest of the night assessing your whole personality, your entire life, and feeling rotten.
2. Consider your response in the light of what you now know about how your nervous system automatically operates. Or imagine me explaining it to you: “Hey, give yourself a break! The crowded, noisy room after a busy day, being left alone by your friends, your past experiences with these sorts of parties—it was an avalanche waiting for a cuckoo clock. You like to be introverted. Sure, go to parties, but they should be small ones where you know people. Otherwise, pick out someone who appears as sensitive and deeply interesting as yourself and take off together as soon as possible. That’s the HSP way to party. You are not shy or unlovable. You will definitely meet interesting people and have close relationships—you just have to pick and choose your situations.”
3. Is there anything you want to do about this now? Perhaps there is a friend you could call and arrange to spend some time with, your way.
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