The Good Guy, the Bad Guy, and the Ugly Truth: A Relationship Self-Help Book for Both Men and Women Hoping to Find Healthy Relationships by Lmsw Csw Justin Nutt

Author:Lmsw, Csw, Justin Nutt [Lmsw, Csw, Justin Nutt]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780991438303
Amazon: 0991438302
Publisher: ARK Publications
Published: 2014-01-26T05:00:00+00:00

Who You Want and Need vs. Your Past (Men):

“If we worked on the assumption that what is accepted as true really is true then there would be little hope for advance.”

-Orville Wright

The first step in the exercise is to look within and ask what it is that is desired in a woman we have a relationship with. First, think about what things it is that you need from a mate. As good guys, the things that are most often needed are the same things that we possess, a desire to be able to provide to the person we are with. Then examine what the things are that you want in a woman and also those things that you don’t want. Look at the things that you have to offer and what it is that you feel would complement those attributes. Next, ask these same questions about what you need and desire to exist in a relationship. There you should look not at what you desire in a woman, but what you desire to provide to a partner. The most interesting thing which you may find is when these lists are completed is that items such as a desire to be a protector and provider can be in direct opposition for the desire to have your own needs met.

The next step after you have completed the list of what qualities you desire and need to exist in a woman, yourself, and a relationship, is to think back over past relationships. As you revisit each relationship, ask yourself which of these items were present in that relationship and which weren’t. It is also often helpful to ask yourself whether if at the time of that relationship you had made the list would those items have been on there. The reason this question is of great importance is that from each relationship we learn more about ourselves and what it is we are looking for. It may be that a woman had a certain quality that we never knew we needed until it was given, while there also may be things that we had never realized we didn’t want until they were forced upon us.

The next, and also biggest, component to this exercise is to look at how the presence or absence of each of these qualities in past relationships has affected interactions in subsequent relationships. This is something that isn’t always easy to see at the time, but the truth is that the past, both good and bad, is carried with every person into the future. This baggage is a part of the human condition, and what can happen is to not realize that the baggage is present thus allowing it to potentially prevent us from accepting a new relationship at face value.

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