The Conscious Heart: Seven Soul-Choices That Create Your Relationship Destiny by Gay Hendricks & Kathlyn Hendricks

Author:Gay Hendricks & Kathlyn Hendricks [Hendricks, Gay & Hendricks, Kathlyn]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Family & Relationships, Marriage & Long Term Relationships, Self-Help, Codependency, Love & Romance, Marriage
ISBN: 9780307573087
Google: CnNCDABzWn0C
Amazon: B00329UWDG
Barnesnoble: B00329UWDG
Goodreads: 8133294
Publisher: Bantam
Published: 1997-07-01T04:00:00+00:00

“I heard, once he mentioned it, the tone of control covering the fury I felt, and I knew the fury at being left belonged at least back in my childhood, but further back to the men who left my grandmother’s mother without nurture or support. The steely resolve of women to do it themselves is part of my genetic heritage.”

Gay picks up the narrative of the day after the dance: “That afternoon, as we were driving around the California wine country and talking intently, Kathlyn turned to me and told me that I was free to have any kind of relationship I wanted with Kristin. She said she was going to let go of trying to control me and put that energy into expressing her own creativity.

“As the shift toward full responsibility happened in me, Kathlyn began to shift also. She woke up to her own end of the issue. She realized that her central creativity issues were woven into this event. She saw that she had submerged her own creativity to be the administrator of our institute and the main teacher of our trainings. She had taken on the role of the CEO so I could occupy the role of Creative Genius. She was mad about the role she’d created but hadn’t said anything. Her anger had been expressed through gaining weight and pulling back from me sexually. These roles were keeping her from opening up to her own Creative Genius. She saw that she had projected onto me all the responsibility for carrying the wild and crazy creative energy in the relationship, while she played the Good Reliable Stodgy Wife. After taking a look at all this, she decided to make a major commitment to owning her own creativity again. Poetry started to pour out of her over the next few weeks. She also lost fifteen pounds in about a week.

“Over the next week or so, I kept opening up to all the different feelings I had for Kristin. I would get a burst of sexual feeling for her, and I would let myself go into it. Sometimes I would feel guilty, but then I would consciously let go of the guilt and permit myself to feel the strong energy. When I allowed myself to feel the energy cleanly, it usually shifted into more of a whole-body feeling, like a sparkle in my bloodstream. Kristin and I talked on the phone a few times, but it wasn’t until two weeks later that I saw her again. Being around her for two days at that time gave me ample opportunity to open up to the sexual energy I felt, although I chose not to engage in actual physical sex with her.

“I’m glad we didn’t rush into a physical relationship, because there were other types of relationships I wanted to explore with her. For one thing, she was going to be doing her doctoral work in areas related to our work, and I was considering offering her a job doing research for our institute and helping at the trainings while she was working on her doctorate.

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