The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Depression: A Step-by-Step Program

Author:William J. Knaus & Albert Ellis [Knaus, William J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781608823826
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Published: 2012-05-31T22:00:00+00:00

When You Blame Others

Another stress from blame can stem from a “Why me?” question. When something negative happens, you play the victim or think that the fates are against you or that you deserve punishment.

There is no universal answer to the “Why me?” question. Things are as they are. The more interesting question remains, “How do I make the most of what I have?”

You can view yourself as the consummate victim of past atrocities. Here is an example: “I suffered a series of losses, including a pet parakeet flying out of an open door, automobile repair problems, a flooded basement, and a reduction of my hours at work that led to financial strains. That’s why I feel depressed.”

You can typically find others to blame for your depression. The reason you feel depressed is because of government corruption, a sneaky rival, parents who gave you a rotten childhood, discrimination, a lousy education, a narcissistic mate, an unfair boss—the list goes on. By blaming others for your depression, you narrow your choices. Either others must change, or you’ll stay depressed. You may be able to influence people, but you can’t change them. While aversive actions by others can contribute to depression, how you think about such situations can yield double-trouble distresses and keep depression alive.

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