The Bees Road by Rami Ollaik

Author:Rami Ollaik [Ollaik, Rami]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bees Road Publications
Published: 2014-01-18T21:00:00+00:00

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CHAPTER

17

THE AFTERMATH

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The hills of Iqlim al-Tuffah were bathed in a dark purple glow. The moon embraced the lively oak forests; its light could not pierce the thick oak trees that hid the Resistance fighters. A few fast-rolling clouds occasionally eclipsed the full moon, casting shadows on the earth. It was not an ideal night for long hikes beyond enemy lines, nor was it wise to move around and risk being noticed by the sophisticated enemy motion detectors. I was positioned in one of the dugouts at the hill of Mlita, resting on top of the village of Ain Bouswar. I was on a regular guard-and-stakeout task.

I filled up a small pot with some water and performed the holy rites of ablution. A little further away from the trenches, I picked a flat spot and started my nightly prayers with my AK47 by my side. Before bowing forward, I lifted both my hands, my palms wide open towards the sky, and started reciting litanies of the Shiite Imams. I pled to God to look after my parents and siblings and my fellow brothers in Jihad, but I found myself drifting away from the course of my prayers. I raised my palms higher and mumbled insistently, asking for enlightenment. I went on, no longer articulating the formal Arabic prayers but turning to informal slang.

“Please God. Please. In your name, light up the way…”

I sat down on the bare ground and broke into tears.

Echoes from my childhood and youth flashed in my head and steered my thoughts towards the AUB campus. A sudden delusion struck me.

“In your name, God, show me the way. Please!” I repeated.

All our deeds were in the name of God, but how close to or how far from God were they?

I sat in silence, drowning in my own reflections of what was to come.

* * *

Back at AUB, school life was picking up again. My tight-knit group of friends and companions encompassed those who were not with Hezbollah, and through this new outlook I saw hope for a new form of leadership. On the other hand, the success of the October events had opened doors for me within the Party, allowing for relationships with highly ranked people positioned in decision-making circles.

After having lived for years surrounded by fanaticism and religious extremism, after pushing others to do the same, and after having gone deep into the details of Hezbollah’s hive, I found myself astray. I was connecting with people from backgrounds totally different from mine, who held beliefs totally different from the ones I had chosen for myself. Our concerns were always the same, and it was reason enough to do away with discrimination and blind favoritism, in spite of the Party’s directives.

With religion and politics out of the way, much tension was released from the discussions in favor of the urge for a common Lebanese citizenship. We had to live together, after all, as equal citizens in our nation. We had to learn, work, love, have fun and feel safe.

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