The 7 Secrets of Really Great Sex by Graham Masterton

Author:Graham Masterton
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
Published: 2013-06-04T16:00:00+00:00

Secret 5: Devote Yourself to His Delight

Women who learn to become generous sexual partners will almost always reap the reward of really great sex. I talk to so many women who are eager to improve their love lives—sometimes desperate for sexual satisfaction—yet who are still reluctant to take control of their relationships in order to get what they need and, yes, what they deserve.

Some women are inhibited by sheer timidity, especially women with partners who are sexually ignorant, or very straitlaced, or bullying, or insecure, or just plain pompous. “If I went down on him, he’d think that I was acting like some kind of hooker.” “If I were to do anything fancy in bed, he’d be convinced that I’d found another man. No good trying to tell him that I learned it all from a book.” “If I turned over in bed and started to feel his cock, he’d take that as criticism … like he wasn’t keeping me satisfied and I had to come back to him for more.”

Other women are wary because “I’m not very sexually experienced and I wouldn’t really know what to do … supposing I made a fool of myself?”

Still more are plain resentful: “I always thought that when it came to sex it was a man’s job to please the woman. Why should I do all the work?” “He never did anything creative and interesting to me. Why doesn’t he stick his own finger up his ass? I’m not doing it.”

But if your partner isn’t giving you the really great sex that you deserve, you’re going to have to face the fact that only one person can do something about it, and that’s you. You have choices, of course. You may decide that you’d rather put up with the status quo than try to take control of your sex life. You may even decide that you would rather not bother and walk out of the relationship altogether: That’s an option. It depends how much you think he’s worth, and it depends on how much you think you’re worth.

It’s very important for you to understand this: Almost every dysfunctional sexual relationship is capable of being dramatically improved. It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about a relationship that is suffering severe psychological and/or physiological problems, such as frigidity or impotence, or a relationship that has run out of sexual tension because of financial stress or alcohol abuse, or even nothing more serious than over-familiarity and boredom. Even if you think your sexual relationship is “beyond saving,” let me assure you that it isn’t. I can’t promise miracles. It may eventually turn out that you decide not to continue having sex with the same man. It may turn out that, if you’re married, you want a divorce. But these are separate issues—issues for you to decide for yourself once you’ve discovered just how much better your sex life can be.

Throughout this book, I’ve been concentrating on showing you that sex isn’t threatening or dirty or something that you can’t openly discuss with your partner.

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