The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary D. Chapman
Author:Gary D. Chapman [Chapman, Gary D.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Family & Relationships, Marriage & Long-Term Relationships, Religion, Christian Life, Love & Marriage
ISBN: 9780802492401
Google: K1fRBAAAQBAJ
Publisher: Moody Publishers
Published: 2014-12-11T08:00:00+00:00
OORMAT OR
OVER?
“I have served him for twenty years. I have waited on him hand and foot. I have been his doormat while he ignored me, mistreated me, and humiliated me in front of my friends and family. I don’t hate him. I wish him no il , but I resent him, and I no longer wish to live with him.” That wife has performed acts of service for twenty years, but they have not been expressions of love. They were done out of fear, guilt, and resentment.
Due to the sociological changes of the past thirty years, there is no longer a common stereotype of the male and female role in American society.
A doormat is an inanimate object. You can wipe your feet on it, step on it, kick it around, or whatever you like. It has no wil of its own. It can be your servant but not your lover. When we treat our spouses as objects, we preclude the possibility of love. Manipulation by guilt (“If you were a good spouse, you would do this for me”) is not the language of love. Coercion by fear (“You wil do this or you wil be sorry”) is alien to love. No person should ever be a doormat. We may al ow ourselves to be used, but we are in fact creatures of emotion, thoughts, and desires. And we have the ability to make decisions and take action.
Al owing oneself to be used or manipulated by another is not an act of love. It is, in fact, an act of treason. You are al owing him or her to develop inhumane habits. Love says, “I love you too much to let you treat me this way. It is not good for you or me.”
O
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