Tales From the Crib by Jennifer Coburn

Author:Jennifer Coburn [Coburn, Jennifer]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Fiction, General, cookie429, Kat, Extratorrents
ISBN: 0758209835
Google: 2uSeIBFq5bUC
Amazon: B0097SNQSY
Publisher: Kensington Books
Published: 2008-01-31T22:00:00+00:00

Chapter 22

If I hadn’t had a six-week-old baby with me, I would have checked into a homeless shelter that night. When I arrived at my mother’s home, there was a soiree that surpassed my wildest expectations. Kimmy was body surfing in her wedding gown atop the meticulously manicured hands of her guests. Anjoli was wildly playing the saxophone (she doesn’t play). Dr. Comstock gyrated his hips as though he should have dollar bills stuffed in his G-string. Oh God, on second glance, I saw that my son’s pediatrician did have dollar bills stuffed in what was thankfully not a G-string, but rather, Disney character boxer shorts. And surprise, surprise, Alfie was at the keyboard doing the campiest, gayest renditions of wedding songs ever heard. No one noticed me come. Or go.

An hour later, as I turned the key to my home in Caldwell, I heard the unmistakable sounds of sex coming from the room formerly known as my home office. “Quiet, honey,” I whispered to Adam. “We wouldn’t want to interrupt Daddy fucking his girlfriend.”

The next morning Natalie made pancakes for the three of us, and asked if I minded if she and Jack spent the day with Adam. The way she moved around my kitchen filled me with rage and inadequacy. I felt as though I was in a gender-swapped American version of Bed and Sofa. How did she know where the wire whisk was when I had no clue? Was she boiling water with my teakettle?! As much as I tried to find fault with Natalie, the reality was I couldn’t help but like her. She was smart, insightful, and pretty in a very unassuming way. (Which was difficult to do considering she was assuming my role as Jack’s wife and Adam’s mother.)

“Enjoy!” I said, too enthusiastically. “I’m sure you guys will have a lovely day together. And I could use the break myself. I’ve got a million things to take care of.” Namely screwing the first willing guy that comes directly into my line of vision.

What was Natalie’s agenda anyway? Oh sure, she seemed sweet enough with her schoolteacher calmness and artsy good looks, but beneath the surface was there someone far more evil and dangerous? Might she and Jack have a plan to kill me for my life insurance money? Or was she simply trying on the role of stepmommy and second wife to see how it fit her?

“I’ve got to tell you, Lucy. I think you’re just about the coolest woman I’ve ever met,” Natalie interrupted my silent musings. “Not every mother would feel comfortable with this whole setup, and welcome me into her home like you have. I hope you know how much I genuinely appreciate your generosity.” Jack looked up from his newspaper and smiled. He was having his pancakes and eating them too. I wanted to cry. Why couldn’t this woman have the decency to be loathsome?!

Adam had no loyalty whatsoever. Whenever Natalie made funny faces at him, he laughed. Whenever she cooed baby talk to him, he gurgled back.

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