Taboos and Transgressions by unknow

Author:unknow
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Madville Publishing
Published: 2021-02-19T00:00:00+00:00

The Alcoholic Alphabet

Bonnie Jo Campbell

“People say that whiskey is man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says that we should love our enemies so what is a fellow going to do?”

—Stuart Barnes, actor.

“I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”

—Dorothy Parker.

A

A is for abstainer, which Ambrose Bierce defines as “a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.” A is for all the alcoholic authors whose work I adore. A is for Andre the Giant, who drank 119 bottles of ale in one afternoon and remained awake. A is for alcoholic altercation: Alexander the Great—who was tutored by Aristotle before conquering Assyria and Anatolia and, later, Arabia—was altitudinal when his old friend Cleitus questioned his authority, and it seemed only appropriate for Alexander to throw an apple at his head and also put an arrow through his heart. Alex spent three days in anguish . . . before springing up again to conquer more of Asia. A is for Arnie Ackles, my mother’s boyfriend, who knocked my mother’s other boyfriend’s head into our kitchen wall. The ambulance arrived at 2 a.m. A is for ambivalence.

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