Survival of the Shittest: The Ultimate Guide to Passing a Woman's Test by Olyvia Apple

Author:Olyvia Apple [Apple, Olyvia]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Little Light Press
Published: 2014-02-08T23:00:00+00:00

To Set Up Courtship

A mixture of evolution, human biology, and social conditioning gives credence to the axiom that women want love while men want sex. Of course, this is a generalization, and as men and women “grow up” and long for committed relationships, their respective desires for sex and love eventually equalize, making healthy and happy relationships so much more accessible.

Still, some differences between men and women are immutable. The woman will usually be the one who must agree to give sex. It rarely takes any coaxing on behalf of an attractive woman to bed a man. However, a man is usually the one who must agree to give “good relationship”: commit to a woman with a full heart, to cherish her, to open up to her, to do fun things with her, and, most of all, to be a repository for her frustrations, hopes and dreams.

Whereas a man feels rejected and sexually frustrated when he can’t score in the sack with a woman he likes, a woman feels rejected and emotionally frustrated when she can’t “score” a relationship with a man she likes. Sometimes a woman will try to reel in a man’s love and commitment through sex, only to feel used, degraded, and violated when he still acts distant, emotionally unavailable, and non-committal.

So a man who knows how to treat and court a woman with intelligence and integrity can save both sexes from their respective neuroses, even if, at the end of the day, he doesn’t want a serious, long-term relationship.

A courtship demonstrates to the woman the he is into her or potentially into her. I’m not referring to the traditional notion of courtship in which a man pays for dates, sends her flowers, and asks her father for her hand in marriage. A woman generally appreciates an intellectual and emotional courtship in which the man makes an effort to engage her intellectually and emotionally—which sometimes involves spending his hard-earned money for that purpose.

Believe me, if I had the biological drive and societal license to hunt and court men, I think I’d be really good at it. With the courtship mantle left in my capable hands, I’d be dating a new man every week. I’d approach men creatively, entertain them, take them to cool places, and encourage them in their dreams.

As a strong go-getter, I’ve tried several times to pick up men to date, and I’ve come to the conclusion that actively courting a man doesn’t satisfy me. And most of the time—it doesn’t work. If a man is not initiating phone calls and dates, he’s most likely not interested in developing a relationship of any kind—or else he is way too shy for me.

The traditional role of man as pursuer often frustrates women: hence the cougar phenomenon. Women are sick of giving men the upper hand to chase a relationship, so they hunt hormonal young men whose lack of experience excuses their lack of courtship skills.

So if you think it’s unfair that men have the social and biological advantage to court a woman—think again.

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