Surrender, Submit, Serve Her.: The definitive guide to enacting Female Leadership and embracing the Female Dominated Household. by Key Barrett MSc

Author:Key Barrett MSc
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Key Barrett Publishing
Published: 2016-12-21T05:00:00+00:00

Change How You Think

No one wants you to change who you are fundamentally, and the goal of changing how you think is not to make you into a sycophantic yes man (see ‘Maintain your Manliness’ a couple of points later), so dispense your fears over the idea of changing how you think. You will still be you, just better. Changing how you think really comprises two key concepts:

● Be less reactive.

● Think of we not me.

So on the first point, people can be proactive or reactive. What that means is people either plan for eventualities and prepare or prevent them from occurring (proactive), or respond after the fact to something (reactive). Nobody is always one or the other.

You will never be proactive on everything, nor should you be, but you can be less reactive. Men tend to already be more proactive than reactive because we are by and large, raised in societies that reward anticipatory thinking in men. But we are often terribly reactive in relationships. Hey, why rock the boat, right? The problem is reactive and passive go hand in hand.

It’s okay to be proactive if you think something is wrong. The trick is (and part of the second point “Think we, not me”) it’s self-centered and poor form to automatically assume it has to do with you. That’s just being pre-emptively reactive, if you will.

Proactive behavior takes into account the environment and the knowledge you have learned being an attentive support system for your Leader. If your Wife or girlfriend is more guarded than usual, or closed off, there is probably a reason. A reactive person reacts to this guardedness by say ‘Hey, what’s wrong?”.

They aren’t asking that entirely out of altruism. They’re bothered by the attitude and change in routine. And yes, they also want to help, but the way is wrong. It will only make someone more guarded.

The proactive person takes into account the environment and what they have learned. Then they set the table for talking about it, or not if it doesn’t need it. Maybe that co-worker has been bothering Her the past few days, safe bet that might be the cause. A proactive partner knows this and takes away some of the worries around home but doing a little extra, then later asks how work is going. If that was the case, the proactive partner listens and offers emotional support and advice if asked.

Now for the second point: men are raised to think of themselves first. Evolutionarily this made sense for millennia but it really doesn’t now and it certainly doesn’t in a female led household. Even though She is your leader, I promise you She thinks of we over me. This is one of those natural, inborn things that make women such excellent leaders. Thinking of we over me does not negate the self, in fact it adds to it. Humans are always stronger when they don’t go it alone.

A nice example of thinking we over me is giving for the sake of giving.

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