Six Kids and a Stuffed Cat by Gary Paulsen

Author:Gary Paulsen
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers

Scene Five:

No such luck.

Regan’s got a one-track mind and the rails were headed directly toward me. Regan missed the whole energy shift of the room. My bad, I hadn’t been facing Regan when I attempted to mind-control the population.

“Thanks, Mason.” Regan dismissed Mason’s contribution to the conversation. “We’ll get back to you in a second. But first, semirhetorical question: Anyone notice that Jordan gets nosebleeds a lot?”

Oh snap. We’re going there. No one has any idea how hard I’ve tried to avoid my bloody noses as a topic of conversation. Except maybe Cary, who gets paid to talk to me about them. And probably notices when I avoid the subject every week. “Yeah? So what?”

“I read that bloody noses can be a side effect of nerves,” Regan said, staring at me as if I were an escaped mental patient about to get real interested in sharp objects.

It’s not nerves, I told Regan—silently, in my mind. It’s excessive amounts of stress that are not addressed which lead to physical manifestations. Nosebleeds are considered one of these physical manifestations. Out loud, I said, “I’m the least nervous person you’ll ever meet, Regan. I’m an extrovert, in case you hadn’t noticed. Class clown. Most likely to make people pee from laughing at my jokes.”

Regan looked at me with the same expression my counselor has when I try to dodge the topic at hand by being flippant. And countered my statement, just like Cary does.

“You refused to try out for the school play when I asked you to keep me company at auditions.”

“I found the play selection derivative and trite.” I sounded calm, but I was starting to sweat buckets.

“You had a completely bogus excuse for why you couldn’t be my partner on the debate team.”

“What’s bogus about the fact that it was a Thursday of a full moon week and my horoscope warned me to avoid oral conflict?” It’s like no one in this school is guided by the wisdom of planetary alignment except me. Geez.

“You said you didn’t have time to devote to being in the big buddy program with me at the elementary school.” Regan is relentless. Why wasn’t anyone else stepping in? I glanced around, but they were looking back and forth between us, watching the conversational tennis match, too interested in Regan’s point and my counterpoint to break up the action by interrupting. Forty-love, advantage Regan. I gave it one last shot, though.

“That would have entailed afternoon meetings and, as you know, I’ve got a standing date with the detention hall.” And with Cary for the alleged social anxiety thing my counselor thinks I have. I’m not socially anxious, I’m just wildly uncomfortable talking to more than one person at a time. Unless, it seems, it’s in the second floor restroom of RJ Glavine Middle School. I was holding my own. Until, of course, Regan started in on me.

“You’ve never tried out for a single team even though I always invite you to go out for basketball, tennis, track, soccer, lacrosse, and golf when I’m being evaluated for the teams.

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