Shaking the Sugar Tree by Nick Wilgus

Author:Nick Wilgus
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Published: 2014-01-23T16:43:06+00:00

37) The story of my life

“I HOPE that doesn’t become a scene in one of your books,” Jackson said, referring to my mother’s visit.

We were sitting on the rocks, fishing. I strummed on my guitar while we waited for the fish to bite. Noah stared at the water with a deadly earnestness, as if he could make the fish bite his hook by his stare alone.

“I can think of a more interesting story,” I said. “Horny single father meets hot nurse dude from the wild blue Yankee yonder. They make out on the riverbank. They fall in love, adopt eight children, and become the first couple in the state of Mississippi to become legally gay-married. It could work.”

“All that from skinny-dipping?”

“I’d have to add the nurse dude has kind eyes. Not squinty, untrustworthy eyes. Not provocative, lusty eyes. But kind eyes. Like maybe he’s a kind man. He also has a smooth, hot body, as though he does a lot of sit-ups or something, which writers are too busy to do. He also has a gorgeous cock. Overall he looks like he might have been an athlete in some other life, one of those Greek guys running around nude in the first Olympics.”

“And what would you say about the horny single father?”

“I’d say he was a bit of a mess. Lonely and looking for something he can’t seem to find. Everything he touches turns to shit. He’s sarcastic because he’s so angry all the time. But he doesn’t really know what he’s angry about. He’s almost thirty-three and it scares him because he feels like a failure. All he has is his kid, but his kid has so many health problems, and sometimes he gets a little tired of taking care of him, but he could never admit that so….”

I fell silent, feeling I had said too much.

“Maybe the nurse guy is lonely too,” Jackson suggested. “Maybe he’s been looking for someone to spend his life with, to grow old with, someone to honor and cherish. Maybe he feels he’ll never meet the right man. Maybe he sort of gave up, but then one day he met a beautiful man, a single father… and something just sort of happened and then they were in love, got gay-married, and lived happily ever after.”

“That would make it really interesting,” I admitted.

“What are the chances of a story like that coming true?” he asked.

“You left out the part about eight kids.”

“Did I?”

“That’s the most important part. Don’t you want kids?”

“I never thought about it.”

“I’ve always wanted more kids.”

“Why don’t you adopt?”

“I need to get gay-married first, have a nice house and a career, and something to offer. I need at least one pot to piss in.”

“And if you had that?”

“Well, I’ve always wanted a daughter, so we’d have to start with that. Then I think we’d have to adopt eight or nine kids just to round it off a bit. One of them would probably turn out to be gay so we’d pick that one as our favorite and we’d send him or her to college.

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