Sex and the Enneagram by Ann Gadd

Author:Ann Gadd
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
Tags: Sexuality/Relationships
Publisher: Inner Traditions/Bear & Company
Published: 2019-06-18T16:00:00+00:00

Understanding Eights’ Sexuality

Brief Overview

Irrespective of their actual sex, Type Eights are the most archetypically masculine of the Enneagram types in terms of behavior, displaying the least emotional sensitivity (although Sexual Eights tend to be more emotional).1 They are aligned with the animus of Jungian terminology. Their opposite type on the symbol is the extremely sensitive Four, arguably the most archetypically feminine type, along with Type Two.2

Together with Nines and Ones, Type Eights are one of the three Body/Gut types in the Enneagram, and are focused on the present. Because they are Body types, they enjoy the sheer physicality of sex. The Passion of Lust is appropriate for them: associated with sin and primal urges, it indicates forcefulness and physical desire.

With Lust as Eight’s Passion, it’s not surprising that the volume is turned up loud when it comes to sex! Eights go after life (and sex) with more urgency and boldness than any of the other types: “I see it. If I’m turned on, I want it now!” Eights desire intensity and passion, yet their very demanding approach to sex can have lovers retreating.3 Enough is never enough.

Lust calls for immediate action—our initial attraction to someone is often fueled by lust, and our primal urge to procreate demands that our desire be fulfilled without delay. Lust does not understand the future. It doesn’t dilly dally, nor is it bothered by the sweet murmurings of the poet, whose desire is softened by the heart. An Eight I knew would walk up to women at parties and say: “Hey, do you want go out back and have wild sex?” Incredibly, this blatant bravado seemed to work—he’d normally get at least one woman to oblige.

The color red and the emotion of anger are associated with Eights. Sexually, Eights will seek instant gratification, intense stimulation, and activities that enhance and enlarge the present experience. There is a grasping for the fullness of life, as Eights’ larger-than-life emotions grab what is real: “If you’re angry, be angry. If you lust, get naked!”

Eights want hot, steamy sex, making a partner’s knees tremble as they gasp for breath, pushed up against the restaurant’s restroom door. For Eights, sex is going to be the focus of the relationship. They want to be good at being “bad,” and they may forget their partner’s needs in their urgency. A headache may be of little concern if they feel the urge: “If she’s had a hard day, give her a hard night!” They feel entitled to sex simply because they are in relationship: “I take care of you, so you need to take care of me.”

Eights feel the need to protect and control a partner. Palmer notes that Mexican marriages are predominately Eight men and Four women: Eights feel uncultured in comparison to the elegant and arty Fours and so they respect them, and Fours are drawn to the Eight’s ability to take care of them (rescue them) and their dismissive attitude to society and norms in general.4

Eights need to appear big and strong.

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