Secret Men's Business by John Marsden

Author:John Marsden
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Pan Macmillan Australia
Published: 1998-08-02T16:00:00+00:00

4. Girls are bitchy, boys are more direct

The theory is that girls are gossipy, into backstabbing, really vicious. When they have an argument with someone it goes on forever. Boys on the other hand are more open. If they’re mad at each other they have a fist fight and get it over and done with. Then they shake hands and everyone lives happily ever after.

It’s amazing how many people devoutly believe this pretty picture and how long this myth has lasted.

It’s not true. So many guys love to gossip, and so much male conversation is gossip. You don’t believe me? Try listening to your father and his mates next time they’re around the barbie. Try listening to your mates next time they’re talking at the bus stop.

Most boys and men avoid fist fights most of the time.

As so often though we’re in generalisation city here. There are plenty of exceptions among both genders.

I think it is true though that men and women often use different weapons. The female weapon is often words, the male weapon often fists or other physical tactics. In recent years there has been a huge campaign against men using violence. Fair enough too. But to go side by side with that campaign we need another one, against the damage done by women’s verbal and emotional abuse. It’s not a question of which is worse. Both forms of abuse – fists and words – are dangerous and damaging and destructive.

At the same time as we get those campaigns up and running, we should start another one, to end physical violence by women, and another one, to end verbal violence by men. Cover all the bases.

Men and women need to learn to solve problems without trying to carve pieces off each other. They need to learn to handle their rage. They need to concentrate on solutions not problems.

Most issues aren’t really gender issues at all. They’re human issues.

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