Reconnecting by Joseph J. Luciani

Author:Joseph J. Luciani
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Wiley
Published: 2010-05-10T16:00:00+00:00

Liz was clearly trying to do her best to feel better, but as you can see, all her efforts only wound up making matters worse as she became more and more congested with worry, trepidation, and anxiety. This brings us to the Self-Coaching oxymoron that I mentioned at the beginning of this chapter: less is more. For Liz, when it came to spinning thoughts, her unfortunate motto was: more (worrying) is never enough. Liz’s excessive worrying was her feeble attempt to gain some level of control by at least preparing herself for the worst. Whenever an underlying fiction of insecurity is able to go unchallenged, it has the power to take over your life.

You might be scratching your head, thinking, “But wasn’t Liz challenging her insecurities? Isn’t that a good thing?” Well, yes and no. Yes, she did challenge the many symptoms of her insecurity, which would have been okay if she kept her focus on here-and-now issues rather than looking into the future and projecting negatives (“I’m going to get cancer . . .”). And no, it wasn’t a good thing because Liz never got to challenge the faulty premise from which her reflexive symptoms emanated—the long-standing historical belief/fiction that she couldn’t trust her life to feel safe.

Self-Coaching Reflection

The ability to risk trusting yourself and life is the final cure

for all psychological friction.

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