Ramakrishna and His Disciples by Christopher Isherwood
Author:Christopher Isherwood
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2009-12-21T14:15:00+00:00
Manomohan, Ram Chandra's cousin, was naturally generous and his devotion came to him more easily. He had a different defect; envy arising out of spiritual pride. One day, in Manomohan's presence, Ramakrishna praised a devotee named Surendra Nath Mitra, saying that his devotion was `unequalled'. Manomohan was proud of his own devotion and took this praise to mean that Ramakrishna valued Surendra more highly than himself. Bitterly hurt, he left the room, resolving never to return to Dakshineswar. Since he was a regular Sunday visitor, his absence was noticed at once by Ramakrishna, who asked Ram Chandra to find out what was the matter. But Manomohan would not, of course, admit to his motive for staying away; and Ram Chandra could only report that his cousin was well and that there seemed to be no explanation of his behaviour. Manomohan, meanwhile, was saying mentally to Ramakrishna, `Enjoy yourself with your devotees - you don't need me - to you, I'm nobody.' By now, he had cultivated his resentment to the point of insanity. It was Ramakrishna, he told himself, who had driven him away from Dakshineswar. And, when Ramakrishna continued to send messengers urging him to come back, he actually moved to Konnagar, a few miles outside Calcutta, even though he had to take a train into the city every day, to be at his office. Thus Manomohan became increasingly miserable. He could not stop thinking about Ramakrishna and attend to business. At last he had to admit to himself that he did not hate Ramakrishna but loved him dearly.
One day, he went to bathe in the Ganges. He remembered how Ramakrishna had often spoken of its great sanctity, and the memory brought with it a vision of Ramakrishna, so vivid that he could not get it out of his mind. And now, as Manomohan stood beside the water, he became aware of a boat with two figures in it. One of them was Ramakrishna himself. The other was Niranjan, one of Ramakrishna's boy disciples. (See Chapter 17.) Manomohan was amazed to see them. This was like a materialization of his vision. `Why don't you come to Dakshineswar?' Niranjan asked him. `Sri Ramakrishna has been so anxious about you.' It was a very hot day and Ramakrishna was fanning himself. He passed into samadhi as the boat drew nearer to Manomohan. `And he has taken all this trouble for my sake!' Manomohan thought. `How I have wronged him!' He burst into tears and was about to fall, when Niranjan jumped out of the boat and caught him. Ramakrishna returned to outer consciousness and told Niranjan to help Manomohan on board. `I was so worried about you,' he said tenderly to Manomohan, `that I had to come for you.' Manomohan threw himself at Ramakrishna's feet, sobbing, `Sir - it was all because of my vanity!' Niranjan turned the boat towards Dakshineswar.
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