Pulling Your Own Strings by Wayne W. Dyer

Author:Wayne W. Dyer [Dyer, Wayne W.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780062043290
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 1978-08-09T16:00:00+00:00

2. SPOUSE CONFLICTS George has a terrible sexual relationship

with his wife. He has talked to her about it until he is blue in the face, but to no avail. She simply does not behave in the ways he would like.

Whenever they are finished making love, George typically complains or tells his wife how he feels, but she doesn’t seem to get the message. Her goal is to have the sex act completed as soon as possible. George would like her to be more aggressively excitable and do different things, instead of just going through the motions. But she hasn’t really learned how he wants to be treated.

George can teach his spouse new ways of behaving without ever saying a word. He can put her hands where he would like them to be, he can slow the whole experience down by slowing his actions down, and he can demonstrate techniques rather than talking about them.

If you don’t like the way you are treated sexually, it may be fine to talk about your dissatisfaction, but these expressions of dissent will very likely cause more problems than they will resolve. It is far better to go after what you want. If your lovemaking is always too fast, slow it down with behavior that shows that more time can be better for both of you. If you aren’t having orgasms, work at helping your partner to know what you want, through the intelligent channel of behavior, rather than discussion.

This is not an indictment of oral communication by couples, but a look at how to get treated the way you want to be treated after words have failed to get the message across effectively.

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