Paul and Me by A E Hotchner

Author:A E Hotchner [Hotchner, A. E.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-385-53234-1
Publisher: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group
Published: 2010-12-21T16:00:00+00:00

MARTHA STEWART AND her husband, Andy, ran a catering business out of their home on Turkey Hill Road, occasionally catering dinner parties for us. She filled twenty bowls with samples of the leading brands, one with Newman’s dressing. There were mounds of lettuce leaves to dip in the dressing, and glasses of water for palate cleansing. In addition, tasters were provided with pads to evaluate each dressing on a scale of one to ten. Paul and I agreed that if we didn’t score near the top, we’d pack up and slink off.

The twenty friends we invited regarded this as a kind of party and took their sweet time dipping, chewing, cleansing, tabulating, and gossiping with the other tasters but, as instructed, not about their choices. Waiting for them to run the gamut of the bowls was like waiting for reviews on opening night in the theater.

Finally Martha announced the tabulation: eighteen had marked bowl number seven, Paul’s baby, in first place. Martha said the only thing that could improve it was to put a bay leaf in every bottle. She asked Paul what he was calling his dressing.

“Salad King—I’ll be the salad king of New England.”

“And I’ll be the court jester,” I said.

The following day, Paul’s attorney, Leo Nevas, incorporated us as the Salad King Corporation, using his office as the corporation’s address. He also filed for a copyright on “Salad King.” We didn’t have a bottle or a label or insurance, but we did have titles—P. L. Newman, president, and A. E. Hotchner, vice president of Salad King, Inc.

A few days later, Martha called Paul. “I’ve been thinking about that name Salad King. Kings have always put their name in their titles, like King Paul the First.”

“No,” Paul said, “this dressing is not for royalty, it’s for commoners. How about Newman’s Own? It’s left over from the restaurant Hotch and I didn’t open.”

“More like it,” Martha said. “I’ll be glad to use it on salads at the dinners I cater.”

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